As the Pendulum Swings
by InsaneAndHappyAboutIt
Summary: The main couple in this is Chibs/Juice but there is some Jax/Juice. It's all about angst and smut as Juice falls deeper and deeper into despair throughout the show, starting in S4. WARNING: MATURE SEXUAL CONTENT! RAPE, SUICIDE ATTEMPT, MIND-BREAK, VIOLENCE, MORE INSIDE!
1. Chapter 1

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Bottom Juice, Suicide Attempt, Rough Sex, Bad Language, Smut & Feels!**

**This collection follows Chibs and Juice's relationship after he attempts to kill himself. WARNING! IN FUTURE CHAPTERS THERE WILL BE RAPE AND VIOLENCE AS WELL AS JUICE/JAX, JUICE/TULLY, JUICE/JAX/TULLY! IT'S BASICALLY A MENTAL BREACKDOWN OF JUICE BUT IT WILL HAVE A HAPPY ENDING! **

**Also I do NOT own **_**Sons of Anarchy**_** or any of the characters!**

**Set during S4E8!**

_**1**_

Chibs glanced behind him to make sure his patch brother was still following but he had nothing to worry about. Juice looked like a dog that's been kicked one too many times. His head was lowered and his shoulders were slumped as if he was carrying the weight of the world and his back would break at any second. The younger man was a sorry state indeed and Chibs' gaze was drawn to the vicious bruise left around Juice's neck. It was a good thing the boy had the devil's luck and that tree branch snapped before he suffocated. Chibs was at war with himself. He wasn't sure if he wanted to comfort Juice or to punch his lights out, maybe a bit of both.

He was still recovering with the rage he'd felt when he'd come across Juice in the woods, struggling in a blind panic to get rid of the evidence of his mistake. As soon as Chibs saw that thick chain he knew exactly what it meant and for a moment he literally saw nothing but red. Fury grabbed hold of him like a cognitive entity and he rushed Juice, throwing him to the ground, ready to grant his wish and kill him himself. Juice's pathetic whimpering got through just as Chibs' fist was ready to descend on the Puerto Rican's defenceless face. No matter how pissed off he was he couldn't attack what was little more than a wounded animal. Instead Chibs took a step back and slid down the trunk of the old tree, feeling his anger ebb away and be replaced with bone-weary exhaustion.

He recalled when his own mind had entertained the dark thoughts of suicide. The responsibility free escape in the unknown ether had been alluring, almost too alluring but he'd pulled through. He'd been older than Juice and maybe that was why he'd managed to make peace with his nefarious actions. He looked at Juice who was curled in on himself, heart wrenching sobs breaking loose from his trembling lips and Chibs went to him. He helped the boy to his feet and held him tight, letting his tears soak the leather which took so much out of the men who wore it. Chibs was no stranger to making sacrifices for the club. He wore his most prominent one on his face, stretching from lip to ear.

Once Juice's shaking eased up a little Chubs turned him so he could look him in the eye. He didn't like what he saw there. The wet, red rimmed depths spoke of emotional instability and if that wasn't a cry for help then the Scotsman had no idea what was. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that if Juice was left alone tonight he would be in Mister Mayhem's embrace before the first light of dawn. He sighed and made up his mind to bring the kid home with him. There was nobody else he trusted with such a vulnerable and fragile Juice, not even Jax. When he told Juice that he was coming home with him the other only nodded meekly and followed with his eyes planted firmly at his feet. Chibs made a mental note to return the next day and take care of the chain. Tonight they both needed rest.

Chibs opened the door to his small but cosy nest and stood aside to let Juice in. Among the other SAMCRO members Chibs was known as the tidy one and his place was well put together. Juice walked as far as the middle of the room and stopped, waiting to be told what to do. This quiet side of him unnerved Chibs most of all. He wanted Juice to make some stupid joke and flash that wide, easy going grin of his but there wasn't so much as a peep out of him.

'You know where the shower is. Get yourself cleaned up and I'll fix you something to eat.' Juice nodded, still refusing to meet the other man's eyes and as he made to walk past Chips, a hand on his shoulder stopped him. 'I trust you won't grab for a razor or something in there.'

Juice swallowed past the lump in his throat, the movement bringing to life the pain of the bruise around his throat. He glanced up for a brief second, some fear bleeding through the dark pupils and shook his head. 'No. I won't do anything stupid.' Chibs patted his shoulder and let him go.

A while later he heard the sound of the running water and he began rummaging through the fridge for any comestibles. He hadn't been grocery shopping in a while… Fortunately he still had enough ingredients to fix them both a quick sandwich. He left the food on the kitchen counter and went to the bedroom where he began undressing. For the night he wanted to be free from the oppressing responsibility of being a member of the MC. He carefully placed the vest on the back of a chair and stripped down to his t-shirt. Chibs ran a hand through his hair, suddenly feeling the impact of all his years hit him in one merciless blow. Was he getting too old for this shit?

Before his mind could wander down an unpleasant path he took a deep breath and focused his attention on the problem at hand; Juice. What was he going to do with the kid? Members of SAMCRO didn't off themselves. It just didn't happen and Juice would not be a trend setter. Chibs knew that he had to report this to either Clay or Jax and he figured the most open minded of the two would be the latter. If Clay found out about Juice's transgression he would order a hit on him, no questions asked but maybe he could convince Jax to hold off from punishment for the moment. He would promise to keep an eye on Juice, to stir him back on the right path. Chibs was fairly certain Jax owed him that much.

'Chibs?...' The Scotsman spun around to find Juice standing in the doorway, only a towel covering his privates. The sight gave him pause and he stood paralyzed waiting to hear what Juice wanted from him. 'I can't be alone tonight man. I need you, please.'

'What are you saying?' Chips knew exactly what Juice was saying but he wanted to make sure.

It was twisted enough that he actually wanted to fuck the kid, considering how unstable his mental state was at the moment, he didn't want to end up forcing himself on an unwilling partner. That wasn't his style and Juice was someone he cared about, a lot. To some extent his affection for the Puerto Rican went further than path brother and he'd always been aware of that. They'd even fooled around on some occasions but they were never more than quick, rough fucks. Most of time one or both of them were high or drunk or both. This? This seemed like more.

'Hold me. Fuck me hard and good until I forget everything else. Please Chibs… I need to feel more than this fucking hole inside me! I-' Tears were beginning to gather at the corners of Juice's eyes once more and Chibs was in front of him in one long stride. He grasped the younger biker's face and mashed their lips together. He felt the tremble of Juice's lips as they opened for him.

Juice grabbed at Chibs' shirt and pulled him as close as he could, rubbing against him as if he was freezing to death and the Scotsman was his only source of warmth. In turn, Chibs got rid of his clothes and yanked the towel from around Juice's waist, throwing it to the floor in a rather vicious manner, before he turned the youth around and pushed him onto the bed. He knew that Juice wasn't looking for lovemaking. He wanted to be punished, to feel like he'd repented when this was all over and afterwards he would need to be held and loved and kissed and all that soothing shit. Chibs was willing to give him all of it.

He spared a thought for the Puerto Rican's comfort and grabbed some lube he had laying on the nightstand, spread it over his fingers and quickly worked to loosen Juice up. He pushed his fingers inside with harsh, almost brutal, efficiency. Juice was moaning like a bitch in heat and his cock was hanging rock hard between his legs so Chibs knew the discomfort wasn't enough to get in the way of the pleasure. He grasped the other's balls with his free hand and gave them a squeeze before doing the same to the shaft. Juice called his name out at that and Chibs licked his lips. He was rock hard himself and once he had three fingers buried deep inside the bicker's ass he knew the preparations were enough to prevent any serious injury.

Chibs grabbed Juice's hips and pressed the crown of his cock against the twitching hole. Before Juice could draw in a full breath, Chibs thrust the full length of his dick deep inside the trembling body. He had a hand pressed firmly against the small of Juice's back and he guided the boy's body so his ass could meet every thrust. Their bodies slammed against one another with enough force to make the whole body shake and the thud of the frame against the wall was as loud as a drumbeat. With a grunt Chibs grabbed a hold of Juice's arms and yanked them back, twisting the shoulders violently in their sockets. A little harder and he could have dislocated them.

Juice bared his teeth at the jolting agony but he continued to moan through it and his cock never softened. He called out Chips' name, tears falling down his face. They were his way of purging all the shit which had his mind all twisted up in knots lately. He threw his head back at an especially brutal slam against his prostate and Chibs pulled on his arms without any warning, forcing Juice to rise up and impale himself even further on the thick cock. His back was now pressed flush against the other man's chest and the hands returned to his hips. He could feel Chibs' hot breath on the back of his neck and he turned his head, baring his throat in a sign of total submission. Chibs eyed the strip of flesh hungrily and sunk his teeth into the skin, nearly drawing blood. He avoided the purple bruise but just barely. If something was going to mark Juice's skin it would be him not Mister Mayhem.

Juice closed a hand around his dick, stroking himself to a quick release and a second later Chibs' fist closed around his. Together they moved along the slick, leaking length until Juice yelled his release and shot strips of cum all over his chest. He was left panting as hard as if he'd just finished a vigorous workout and whines kept streaming out of his mouth while Chibs continued to fuck him until they were both shivering from their orgasms. Juice felt the wet release deep inside him and when Chibs pulled out, cum trailed down his thigh. Juice turned his head and Chibs was there, waiting to press his lips against his before they both fell on the bed.

Chibs turned Juice on his back and hugged the slighter frame against his own. He could tell Juice was happy with this from the way he eagerly moved against him as if hoping to weld their skins together. Chibs rubbed soothing circles against Juice's shoulder and kissed the top of his inked head. He could feel Juice relax against him, his muscles smoothing over and his breathing steadying until he knew the kid was asleep.

They didn't have to speak to understand each other. Men like them didn't say romantic shit like 'I love you' but when push came to shove they would gladly take a bullet for a brother. Chibs had been in long lasting relationships before and he'd been romantic and none of them would so much as lose a fingernail for him. Juice was in bad shape, worse than anything Chibs had seen before. Fuck, the kid once had his finger plugging some bloke's ass wound and he'd laughed the whole thing off. He'd gone to jail and got shot and he'd come out the other end sunny side up.

Yet this new shit-for-brains sheriff had him so scared of getting kick out of the club that he'd nearly crossed the line that should never be crossed. The SAMCROs meant everything to Juice and Chibs was afraid, really afraid, that if he didn't convince Jax to turn a blind eye to this suicide attempt Mister Mayhem would be waiting just around the corner. He looked at Juice's sleeping face, so innocent looking, and knew he couldn't let that happen. Juice was a good follower and he was a valued brother of the MC who proved himself countless times but he was too pure for their world. How was that for irony?... A man who stole, killed, whored and did an array of other sins was pure, at least in Chibs' eyes.

'Sleep well Juicy. I'll make sure you won't do something this stupid again. If Jax won't let me watch you then I'm going to get you out of Charming.' Chibs listened to the rhythmic sound of Juice's breathing for a while, letting it lull him to his own rest. Just before he drifted off, he broke one of his cardinal rules and said something he wasn't ready to say to Juice's face. 'I love you idiot.'

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	2. Chapter 2

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Jax/Juice, Rape/Non-Con, Bottom Juice, Very Violent, Choking, Forced Blowjob, Light Bondage!**

**Set during S5E10!**

_**2**_

'Do you want to earn your way back in? A Pardon.' Juice felt his heart skip a beat and he looked at Jax through red rimmed eyes. Hot tears continued to fall down his cheeks and he couldn't stop the occasional sob. He was a pathetic mess but he saw no mercy in the other man's glacier blue eyes. If anything, he saw a vicious glee as if the sight of Juice falling apart entertained him and that was a terrifying thought.

'What does that mean?' There was nothing else Juice wanted more but some primal instinct warned him that he was making a deal with the devil. Whatever the price for this pardon was Juice didn't doubt that it would require a huge sacrifice.

'It means you do everything I tell you to do. And I make sure your betrayal never hits the table. It stays between us.' Jax's calm voice was unnerving. Juice kept waiting for the other shoe to drop but it was hard to doubt the other's promise when he looked deep into Juice's eyes and there was something there bordering on sincere concern. It was a sliver of the Jax Juice had known when he'd first joined, back when he'd been a prospect. What ever happened to that boy with a kind smile and large heart? What ever happened to all of them?

'Yes, of course! The club is all I got, you know that. Just tell me what you need me to do.' Jax's expression hardened and whatever concern Juice thought he saw before was gone in the snap of a finger. Juice nearly took his words back but he knew that wouldn't play well for him. Jax was the kind of guy he could say no to, especially considering the fuck-up he was directly responsible for. He was entirely at the biker's mercy.

'Strip.' Juice was not expecting that and the surprise was clear in his widening eyes.

'What?...' Juice hoped Jax would grin and say it was all a joke but the man was deadly serious.

'I told you what to do and now you do it. That's how this arrangement will work Juice if you don't want to throw your sorry ass at the mercy of the others. Let me tell you right now, they will tear you apart and I won't stop them. You want to keep your betrayal secret? Then you do everything I say and you don't ask questions. Now strip.'

Juice swallowed down the lump in his throat and got to his feet, his legs so shaky they nearly collapsed under his weight. Tears were flowing down his face anew and his fingers were visibly trembling. He removed his cut first, placing it carefully on the back of a chair, before he somehow took off everything else. The fear was paralysing him and once he was fully exposed to Jax hungry stare, for a moment, he forgot how to breathe. He'd never felt this vulnerable in his whole life, not even when he'd swung by a chain from a tree branch.

'Come here and suck me off.' Juice began shaking his head, his lips trembling.

'Jax please…. Come on man, don't make me do this, please-…' Jax banged his fist on the table and Juice's plea died in his throat.

'Come here!' Jax glared at him from his chair and to Juice he looked like a cruel king demanding the respect of his subjects. In a way that was exactly what was happening.

Somehow Juice found the strength to drag his feet and kneel before Jax, chancing one last pleading glance up at the MC president. It did nothing and in that moment Juice realized that this was happening. He was at Jax's mercy and no matter how much he begged or cried the man would push him to his limit, all to test his loyalty. What was more, Juice caught a glimpse of that perverse mirth again and his heart shrunk to the size of a flea.

His hands moved as if independent from his mind, opening the fly of Jax's jeans and lowering his boxers so the prominent erection could spring free. The sight of Jax's cock hard gave him pause but he could tell the other man was getting impatient. He drew in a steadying breath which did nothing to calm him and he gingerly licked the veiny shaft. He'd sucked cock before so he wasn't entirely out of his depth but he'd never been forced to do it. He took as much of the length in as he could and began bobbing his head, focusing to bring Jax to completion as quickly as possible.

'You can do better than that Juicy.'

Juice didn't have time to question the meaning of Jax's words before a hand at the back of his head pushed him down, forcing the cock further down his throat. Jax held him there and Juice's fingers tightened, grabbing the man's thighs for support. He struggled to accommodate the member pressing uncomfortably against the back of his throat, swallowing around it and concentrating on breathing through the nose. He felt light headed and thought he would pass out from the lack of oxygen but Jax removed his hand just in time. Juice gratefully lifted his head but before his mouth was freed the hand pushed him down again.

Juice was little more than a stringless puppet as Jax took charge of him, fucking his mouth with wild abandon. The thrusts were harsh but calculated, proving that despite his vicious punishment Jax was still in total control of his actions. Juice felt the member grow as the pleasure built and he knew Jax was close. He didn't have time to think as hot cum spurred down his throat, forcing him to swallow or choke. When Jax let him go he fell on all fours, a coughing fit taking over and he had the urge to throw up but through some inhuman act of stubbornness he managed to keep the contents of his stomach where they belonged.

'Get up.' Juice couldn't look at Jax as he stood. He desperately wished this was the end of it but he knew better than to delude himself. 'Go to the bedroom and stretch your hole open. I'll give you five minutes and then I'm coming in. Let me tell you this, I won't go easy on you so if I were you, I'd use those five minutes wisely.' Juice couldn't believe his ears. He understood that Jax wanted to prove a point but to take it so far…. It was beyond cruel.

'Jax-…'

'Go!' Juice snapped his mouth shut and after a second's hesitation marched to the bedroom. He eyed the bed wearily. This was where Jax slept with Tara, his old lady and the mother of his child. How could he defile all that by turning Juice into his bitch? His limbs felt heavy, the joints turned to stone as he sat on the edge. The sheets had floral patterns, obviously Tara's choice. There was even a framed photo of the whole family on the nightstand, smiling while in a park, and Juice couldn't bear to look at it. He turned the frame around.

Juice didn't doubt Jax's promise. If he didn't prepare himself, even a little, the man would tear him apart without an ounce of pity. Juice scooted back on the bed and tenderly touched his opening. It had been a while since he'd played with his ass and it was showing in how tight his hole was. Under normal circumstances he might have enjoyed the experience, he knew his stuff, but everything about this felt wrong.

He had no lube and he was sure Jax wouldn't take kindly to him opening drawers in search of some. This was probably all part of his trial. He would have to make do with spit. As he coated his fingers as well as he could he hoped against hope that getting rammed in the ass dry wasn't as excruciating as he'd heard. In all likelihood it was even worse but he'd live with it. He'd said that he'd do anything to keep his path and he'd meant it.

Using this newfound determination, Juice began pushing a finger inside. It was unpleasant and his muscles weren't eager to open to the intrusion. He sucked in a breath through clenched teeth, ignoring the alien sensation and beginning to scissor the walls apart. He let out a hiss at the burning stretch. If he was having this much trouble with two fingers then how in the hells was he supposed to take Jax on? He'd seen the man's cock. It was nothing to laugh at and Juice whimpered when he imagined it splitting him open. He pushed three digits in and out, hoping to loosen the muscles as much as possible because it would be his only defence against greater pain.

'Time's up.' Juice had been too focused on his task to hear Jax's approach. He quickly drew his hand away and made to close his legs but the other man was on him in seconds, keeping his legs wide open. Juice held back every instinct to struggle as cold fingers dug into his flesh, leaving angry crescents behind.

'Please…' Juice had to try one last time, as pointless as it would be. He was desperate and a pitiful sob hammered in that desperation but the result was all too predictable.

Jax's hand shot out and backhanded him across the mouth. Juice's head whipped to the side and a trail of blood gathered at the corner of his mouth where Jax's ring cut the skin. He was stunned, not from the pain but from the act of Jax raising his hand to him. Before he got his wits back he was flipped around and his hands were pulled harshly behind him. Jax was binding them with something and it took Juice a minute to figure out it was his MC belt with the SAMCRO logo stamped across the buckle. The leather was strong and Jax tied it so it cut deeply into the thin wrists. Juice gasped but didn't struggle. It wouldn't free him and it would just piss Jax off which was something Juice was very desperate to avoid.

Jax manhandled the smaller body onto his knees so his ass was raised and he pushed the legs apart. Juice buried his face into the pillow, refusing to acknowledge that any of this was really happening to him. That became impossible when he felt the head of Jax's cock nudge against his entrance. He had enough time to widen his eyes and let out a soft whimper before Jax snapped his hips forward and buried himself to the hilt inside Juice's inexperienced body. At first all the Puerto Rican could feel was intense agony, the tendrils of pain shooting up his spine and branching all over through his nervous system. He struggled to breathe but Jax didn't give him enough time to work through it before he started moving.

Juice cried out as Jax rammed into him over and over and over again, not giving a fuck for his comfort. He bit on the pillow to stop himself from screaming until his throat was raw. After a while the pain began to subside but it wasn't like it suddenly became pleasure. Juice was simply numbed to the sharper edge of his violation. His voice quieted down to a heavy gasp which was almost forcibly pushed out of his lungs every time Jax shoved his cock up his ass. A few times he even felt something close to a spike of pleasure, probably Jax accidentally hitting his prostate, and Juice could even imagine it being enjoyable if it weren't for the fucked-up circumstances.

Juice suddenly felt drained, a bone weary exhaustion coating him like a blanket. He welcomed it because it meant he would pass out soon and that meant he wouldn't feel the hurt. His eyelids felt heavy and his body was limp, the only thing holding him up being Jax's grasp on his hips. He was so close to unconsciousness he could taste it but even that comfort was viciously ripped away from him. Jax turned him on his back without any warning and slapped him across the face again. Juice's eyes were unfocused so Jax left another hand print on the other cheek and a third, until Juice was wide awake and the pain assaulted his senses with renewed vigour.

Whatever numbness sedated him before was gone and Juice felt like he would break apart. Being forced to look up at Jax made everything so much more real and he couldn't draw his gaze away from the blue, darkened pupils. He felt like he was drowning and he was desperate for a lifeline but he knew Jax wouldn't throw him one. Jax's movements became more brutal, more erratic and he grasped Juice's semi-hard cock in one tight fist. The pressure was enough to make Juice squirm but Jax brought him to full hardness whether he liked it or not. That was an added cruel trick on top of everything else. Juice would have at least had the freedom to deny liking any part of this vicious assault but now his body was forced to draw pleasure from the act. It gave a whole new meaning to the old adage, _add insult to injury_.

'You know the thing about rats Juicy? They're pests, a scourge on this earth. The only good rat is a dead rat and even then they're a nuisance. A cat will kill a rat but it won't eat it because everything about the fucking pest is poisonous.'

Jax wrapped a hand around Juice's throat and began squeezing. The Puerto Rican whined and whimpered but couldn't speak as the fingers cut off his air supply. The other hand was still jacking him off while Jax fucked him bloody. Juice's eyes began rolling back and his back arched, his lungs starving for fresh oxygen but getting none. Through his addled haze he felt heat splash inside him and knew Jax came. The fucked up part was that it prompted some sort of orgasm to ravage through him as well and his cum shot out in ribbons across his chest.

Juice thought he caught a glimpse of St. Peter and the pearly gates before Jax let go and air rushed to his burning lungs. He gasped and coughed, his body curling in on itself. He didn't know what to feel first, the pain in his lower back, the residue of a very questionable orgasm, the white spots dancing at the corners of his eyes? Or maybe the imprint of Jax's fingers on his neck. They brought the memory of a certain chain all too clearly to his mind…

'If you step out of line, even for a second, I won't hesitate to do what you're supposed to do to a pest. You question me one time and I kill you. It's a very simple arrangement. One even you can't screw up Juicy. Are we clear?' Juice nodded way too fast, not daring to strike another sore nerve with Jax. He'd just seen a side of the man he hadn't thought existed and he wasn't in a hurry to see it again.

'Good. Go clean up and get dressed. Then join me back at the table. We still have things to discuss. You still have a long way to go before you earn my trust again but this was a nice start.' Juice shivered, saying nothing as he watched Jax get dressed. Before he left the bedroom Jax stopped in the doorway and turned to look at him. Some of the ice was gone from his eyes and Juice was nearly lulled into a false sense of security but now he knew better than to let his guard down around Jax.

'I'm really sorry this had to happen Juice. You betrayed me and the club, your family. Believe me when I say you hurt me far worse than I could ever hurt you.'

Juice opened his mouth to say something, probably beg for forgiveness, but Jax left before he could form a syllable. He didn't think it possible but fresh tears bubbled up inside him and he hugged his knees to his chest, losing himself in his misery. Eventually he would pick himself up and put the pieces of his broken life together but for now he couldn't hold back the tears and he didn't even try.

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Chibs/Juice, Dubious Consent, Bottom Juice, Feels, Rough Sex, Bruising, Drunk Driving**

**Set after S5E10 but before the end of the season!**

_**3**_

Chibs nursed his third drink of whiskey. He wasn't much of a drunkard, that is compared to some of his patch brothers, but tonight he felt like he needed to numb his thought a little. It had been a shitty day with the usual gang violence and tensions which were commonplace for men of his ilk but it wasn't nearly being gunned down or run over which had him craving the release of alcohol. It was something far more personal and insidious, something he couldn't control. It was love.

He'd learned long ago what a cruel bitch mother love could be and he'd vowed to never put himself in such a vulnerable spot again. His modus operandi had been to shag and leave and it had served him well but here was another thing he'd learned about love. It was a destructive force which did whatever it wanted and ruined whomever it came across. There was no winning, just surviving without becoming a casualty. On second thought he downed this drink like the other two and started in on the fourth.

The other MC members were having a good time and the music was blasting while they exchanged dirty jokes and friendly insults. A gaggle of crow eaters were hanging around, eager to catch the attention of the members. They were especially desperate to prove themselves to Jax, a renowned sex god among them, but Chibs knew they were barking at the wrong tree. Jax had Tara and now he had Juice. The whiskey turned sour on Chibs' tongue.

Ever since he'd come across Juice in the forest all those weeks ago after his failed suicide attempt the lad hadn't been the same. There was a deadness in Juice's eyes which terrified Chibs and every time he thought the biker was getting better he did something reckless. It was like Juice was courting Mister Mayhem and Chibs knew it was only a matter of time before Mayhem returned the favour. At the rate Juice was going it would be a short time too. Chibs had promised Jax that he'd set the Puerto Rican on the right path but he was beginning to lose hope.

He and Juice were close, or at least they used to be. Ever since the kid had been a prospect he'd taken a shining to Chibs and somewhere along the way he'd grown fond of the wide eyes and eager smile. They'd become best friends and in due time secret lovers but it had never been anything more than casual sex. At least that's what Chibs kept telling himself but once more that bitch love had to intervene. He couldn't say when, but Chibs had fallen in love with Juice though he'd never let it show. Maybe that's why he'd been so pissed off when Juice tried to kill himself. It wasn't only out of respect for the SAMCRO's code of honour; it wasn't even because the show of cowardice pissed him off. The fury which had swept over him had been visceral and intense and after some contemplation he'd been able to pinpoint the source. His heart knew the truth before his mind.

But after the incident Juice began to withdraw into himself and it looked to Chibs as if the lad was deliberately avoiding him. Even when they were together their conversations seemed forced and where once they would have fucked with wild abandon for hours on end now Juice sought him out sporadically. Chibs could see the Puerto Rican fade before his very eyes and he felt powerless to stop it. He'd even tried asking Jax for advice but that was another problem. Jax was going through his own transformation and Chibs didn't like where that was going either. With each passing day Jax resembled Clay more and more in cruelty, meanness and power-hunger. At this rate the club, his home and family would be torn apart at the seams…

Whenever Chibs mentioned Juice around Jax he caught sight of a strange glint in the MC president's cold blue eyes. He nodded in sympathy but there was no sincerity to it. It was as if Jax was happy to see Juice unravel though he did look nervous when Juice was reckless while on one of their 'business meetings'. Chibs couldn't begin to figure out where this vindictive streak came from and the one time he hinted at it, Jax shot him down mercilessly. Chibs got the message. What Jax did with Juice was none of his business and to get involved was to risk becoming a name on Jax's black list. He'd seen what happened to those names and he wasn't eager to join them…

At first Chibs assumed it was a brotherly squabble but then he started paying closer attention to the two and how they interacted. Whenever Jax was around, Juice clamped up though he obviously tried to hide it. Really, Chibs noticed the change only because he knew Juice so well. He'd have difficulty meeting Jax's eyes and his shoulders adopted a defensive slump. Then Chibs noticed something else. Sometimes Jax gave Juice a look and a nod and he'd disappear a minute later. Sure enough Juice would follow after a while and Chibs had the sinking feeling he knew what those secretive disappearances meant. He and Juice used the same signals when they were jonesing for a quick fuck in one of the back rooms.

He'd chucked it up to a onetime thing at first but when it kept happening there was no denying the ugly truth. It wasn't like he was jealous. He and Juice were just casual fuck buddies, even if he would have liked a deeper commitment, but every time Juice returned he looked even deader than before. Whatever Jax was doing with him was not enjoyable for the Puerto Rican and Chibs could practically see a piece of him falling away every time Jax gave him that tell-tale nod. Almost every time the two went to the back Chibs would get a knock at his apartment door later in the night and open up to find Juice. They fucked and it was good but as time passed Juice became wilder and demanded Chibs to be rougher with him. Even during sex the kid was looking for a way to self-destruct and Chibs was afraid that if he didn't comply he would lose Juice forever.

He'd followed Juice and Jax to the back only one time, keeping a stealthy distance so as not to be seen. He'd parted the door and what he'd seen made his insides go cold. Jax had Juice up against the wall and he was thrusting up into him with enough force to make the other man cry out. Juice had to bite into his own hand to stop from making too much noise. Jax was vicious and he clearly didn't give a shit about the fact that Juice was sobbing through the pained groans. He was grabbing Juice's hips with bruising force and sinking his teeth in the shivering skin with enough viciousness to draw blood. If Chibs didn't know better he would have immediately jumped to the assumption of rape. Even so he was tempted to call it that.

Juice gave a sob and his eyes rounded to where Chibs was standing. Jax had his back turned to the Scotsman and was unaware of his presence. Chibs knew he should leave before that changed but the desperation in Juice's eyes had him petrified. He didn't know why the kid was so scared, of Jax or because Chibs was witnessing whatever this was between them. On instinct his mouth opened and he nearly gave himself away but Juice shook his head and his jaw snapped back shut. Juice didn't want him to intervene. Maybe this was to protect him from Jax's anger or because he was on board with the punishing treatment but Chibs couldn't take it anymore. He'd quietly left himself out and refused to look at Jax or Juice for the rest of the day.

Later, as predicted, Juice turned up at his doorstep like a stray. Chibs had been waiting and he'd been ready to turn on him, to demand answers but after seeing the hollowness in the lad's eyes he forgot all about that. He'd opened his arms to Juice and they'd made love. He'd been gentle but possessive, letting Juice know that he cared despite catching that freak show earlier. In turn Juice cried his heart out and kissed Chibs over and over, drawing him close against him with every chance he got.

Chibs understood his role perfectly. He was the healing salve to Jax's wounding knife. He and Juice never spoke it out loud but every time the Puerto Rican sought him out, Chibs held him and comforted him and fucked him to an uneasy sleep. That became their ritual and he was aware that Juice was dependent on him to function. Chibs was desperate enough to be with Juice that he didn't stop it, as wrong as that was.

He shook his head as the haze of alcohol began to tickle at the edges of his consciousness. With some difficulty he tore his eyes away from the hallway which led to the back rooms. Juice was there….with Jax. He'd seen the two leave after the party got properly unleashed. Seeing Juice's defeated march, as if he was going to his own execution, made Chibs want to rip the room apart but he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't out Juice like that to the club. Chibs doubted they'd have much of a problem with it, especially if he backed the lad up but it was one of those things which was just not mentioned. Furthermore, challenging Jax now was suicide. By this point he was Clay in all but name and Chibs didn't doubt Jax would order a hit on him if he crossed the line. So much for brotherhood…

'Feel like sharing some of that with me brother?' Chibs glanced up at Bobby who pointed at the bottle of whisky in front of him.

'Help yourself.' Bobby took a seat and did just that, refilling Chibs' glass too while at it.

'So what are we drinking to tonight?' Chibs summoned a thin smile though it didn't reach his eyes and was silent for a moment.

'How about to never being stupid enough to fall in love.' Chibs regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth but it was out there now. Fuck, he'd had too much to drink.

'Dark but if that's your wish then cheers to that.' Bobby took a mighty swing and banged the empty glass on the counter. Chibs was more reserved with his cheer. 'So, who is this unlucky broad who has you twisted in knots?' Chibs smirked, holding back from correcting Bobby's mistake.

'She's someone I've known for a while and I thought we were close but now I'm not so sure. I feel like she's slipping through my fingers you know? Doesn't help that she has some action on the side.' Bobby whistled and poured himself another drink.

'Well if she's so important then why not just knock the other guy's teeth out? If you need back up I'm pretty sure the guys will help.' Chibs shook his head.

'Not an option. He's a powerful player and I think he has something on her.'

'You mean he's blackmailing her? For sex? That's fucked up.'

'Aye and I can't do anything except deal with the broken mess after.' Chibs fell silent and Bobby glanced around, very uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation. Clearly he hadn't expected to be dragged into Chibs' personal life when he approached the biker.

'Did you talk to her? Let her know how you feel I mean? Maybe she doesn't know you like her.' Chibs didn't say anything to that. What could he say? Bobby wasn't wrong but Chibs was still not ready to say the L word out loud and mean it like that to Juice. Maybe that's why he'd been so angry at Juice's cowardice, because he was a lily livered chicken himself.

'It wouldn't make a difference.' Before Bobby could add anything else, Chibs finished his fifth drink and stood up on unsteady feet. He wanted to get away from the clubhouse and the loud music and the sight of that corridor. He didn't want to see Jax or Juice because he didn't know if he could stop himself from attacking one and killing the other. 'I think I'll call it a night. Thanks for the talk Bobby and I trust you to keep it to yourself.'

'Sure thing brother but are you okay to drive home?' Chibs was probably far from that but he lived close by and he felt like talking a page out of Juice's book. He felt like doing something reckless.

'I'll be fine. See ya tomorrow.' Bobby stood up and they hugged like brothers should before Chibs got the hell out of there. He faintly heard Tig calling after him but he didn't turn back.

Chibs was drunk. He hadn't been this pissed since he'd gone out with Tig. That guy had serious problems but keeping his liquor was not one of them. Chibs had led down his countrymen and he'd suffered for it with the worst hangover of his life the next day. Juice was the one to nurse him and take on most of his work so he could sleep off the headache. He'd made sure to bring Chibs plenty of water and painkillers and that was probably the day he'd began falling for him. It was a stupid thing to remember now of all time and the biker hastened to bury the memory deep, deep down.

As if on cue, there was a knock at his door and Chibs glared daggers at the wood. He was tempted, oh so tempted, to ignore it. He felt like shit and he wasn't in the mood to be Juice's band aid. There was another knock and Chibs detect the hesitancy. He could picture the lad on the other side of the door, starved for affection while beginning to fear that Chibs was turning his back on him. The softness of the knock really got on his nerves. The Juice he knew would have banged on the wood until Chibs answered. This pussyfooting shit was plain wrong. He strode to the door and swung it open so suddenly Juice stepped back in alarm. Chibs looked ready to hit him but Juice had the defeated look of a whipped dog.

'Sorry Chibs. I didn't realize you wanted to be alone tonight. I'll just go…' Juice looked at his feet and turned tail, ready to leave but Chibs instinctively reached out and grabbed his arm. He dragged Juice inside and shut the door behind them.

'Why do you keep coming back? Is Jax not enough for you? Are you such a slut that you need two cocks inside your ass to be satisfied?' Chibs didn't know where this cruelty was coming from but it was like a tap turned inside him and the torrent was flowing now. He doubted he could stop it if he tried. Juice backed away from him until he pressed against the door, wide eyes darting from side to side, looking for an escape.

'It's not like that man…. Jax and me, we're not… You don't know what's going on.'

'Then tell me!' Chibs' voice boomed and Juice flinched as if he'd been physically struck.

'I can't…' Juice whispered while tears gathered at the corners of his eyes. It pained Chibs to be the source of those tears but he was tired of having his chain yanked. He'd reached his limit and Juice would have to make a choice. Either he came clean to Chibs and trust that he would understand or he continued to hide and Chibs would cut him loose. They were at a crossroads and it was up to Juice to choose the right turn.

'Is that your final answer then Juicy? I won't ask again but I won't open the door for you either. So what'll it be?' Juice whimpered but Chibs was adamant in his decision. He wouldn't be persuaded by pity even though his heart felt like it was crushed in a vice like grip.

'I can't… Please don't make me choose. I need you Chibs, please…' Juice might as well have sucker punched him. Apparently whatever secret the lad was holding so desperately onto was more important than him.

'Sorry laddie but you already made your choice. I hope Jax makes you happy.' He put as much spite into his good wishes as he could, feeling the venom of his words corrode whatever good feelings he had for Juice. He was completely uncaring to the stream of tears falling heavily down the biker's cheeks.

'Don't-...'

'Get out Juicy before I do something I'll regret.' The tone of his voice was deadly low. He sounded the same when he was about to kill someone and Juice was all too intimate with the unspoken warning. He didn't think for a second Chibs would end his life but he'd recently discovered there were things so much worse than death out there…

'Fine, hurt me if you want but I'm not leaving.' He had no idea where the bravado was coming from but he grabbed hold of it with both hands and used it like a shield.

'Juice-!'

'I'm not going!'

With a growl Chibs was on him and Juice met him without restraints. Their mouths clashed in a fiery battle of tongues and lips as Juice jumped into Chibs' powerful arms. The older man held him tight as he spun them both around and let them to the nearest available surface. He threw Juice on the couch and began ripping through his clothes, working to get them off as quickly as possible while Juice did the same for him. There was very little tenderness in either of their touches but there was neediness and desire. It was wild and unleashed and it would have been pointless to resist.

Juice lifted his body so he could press against Chibs' chest and meet his lips in a hungry kiss, his fingers curling in the greying hair. He moaned as Chibs moved his hands over every surface of skin available to him, squeezing but not bruising. When he took a proper look, he saw the marks left behind by Jax, the teeth marks and the blackening bruises and he met Juice's hooded eyes. He couldn't understand why the biker chose to let this happen to him rather than trust Chibs and it hurt him more deeply than taking a bullet.

He lowered his mouth to Juice's neck and began systematically licking and kissing all the marks, his love showing through the gentleness of the act. Juice shook at the attention, unravelling at the unexpected affection. He didn't think he deserved it but he was craving it too much to stop it. It was the only thing which had any hope of keeping Juice away from Mister Mayhem's grasp and he loathe himself for putting that sort of pressure on Chibs. Juice hummed softly when Chibs began kissing down his chest, giving each nipple proper care, then moving down the line of his abdomen and stomach, finally licking a trail to Juice's stiff cock.

This was new. Chibs had never sucked him off before and Juice's eyes snapped open in surprise when he felt the hot mouth on his dick. All the times before he'd been the only one to give head and he'd never asked for the favour to be returned since he knew it made Chibs uncomfortable so he was very taken aback. Chibs' beard was scratchy but not unpleasant on Juice's sensitive skin. He could tell the man was new at this but Juice was ready to come undone anyway. The image of his cock inside Chibs' mouth was something he'd only dared fantasise about. His fingers reached for the man's hair as a long whine left his throat.

'Chibs!... Stop, I'm about to cum!...'

Chibs drew back and Juice sucked in a steadying breath. Neither one of them wanted to be done yet and they took a minute to collect themselves. They lost themselves in the heat of each other's mouths and Chibs guided Juice on his back. His hands returned to exploring the plains of muscles paying close mind to the inked portions because he knew how wild that drove Juice. He kissed the two skulls on his chest, stopping to feel his heart beat reverberate through his skin.

'I want to ride you….' Chibs arched an eyebrow at the request but he wasn't opposed to it. The two adjusted their positions so Juice was straddling the larger man and he could look deep into his eyes.

'What are you thinking Juicy? Why won't you trust me?' There was a pleading edge to his voice and Juice pressed his forehead against Chibs', closing his eyes and letting himself be embraced.

'I do but I can't tell you everything. You'd hate me and I couldn't live with that. I love you too much brother.' But not enough to confide in him. The excuse irked Chibs because if Juice really loved him then he would know that Chibs could never hate him, not if he was honest with him. What pained the man even more was that whatever dark secret hung over Juice's head, Jax knew. It was irrational and stupid but Chibs was jealous of his leader for knowing that vital piece of information.

'I love you too Juicy.' And he meant it as more than a brother. Juice smiled and it was an actual smile. Chibs hadn't seen one of those on Juice's face for far too long. He shared a tender, caring kiss with Juice before the younger man raised his hips and dropped on Chibs' cock, swallowing him whole.

Juice was already loosened from his earlier fuck with Jax so he didn't hold back. He rode Chibs hard, meeting each raise of the Scotsman's hips so the sound of skin slapping skin filled the room. Groans, moans and the repetition of the man's name spilled out of him in a senseless mixture of noises while Chibs held him close. He breathed in Juice's scent, his lips open against his shoulder as the Puerto Rican buried his face into his hair. It didn't take either one of them long to climax though they each tried to hold back. They knew this would most likely be the last time they did this… Once they finished, Chibs would hold true to his word and never open the door to Juice again, no matter how broken he was. Juice couldn't hold back a stifled sob at the thought and his orgasm was bitter sweet.

Chibs had his hand on Juice's erection and was moving it quickly to match their erotic hip movements. Juice called out Chibs name as cum shot out between their chests and his hole tightened around Chibs' cock. It prompted the Scotsman to spill inside shortly after and they were both left gasping for air. Chibs continued to hold Juice close against him and the other made no attempt to move away.

Under normal circumstances he would have closed his eyes and dozed off until Chibs shook him so they could move to the bed but Juice knew he wasn't spending the night. This was his last chance to feel the rhythmic pulse of Chibs' blood against his skin or to drown in the scent of his aftershave mixed with leather and motor oil. He would miss the biker's calming heat most of all. Juice didn't know if he could live without it anymore, not for long anyway. He'd become addicted and much like a junkie there was only so long he could fight off the urge to get a fix. When that urge came a nocking what was he supposed to do?...

'It's time for you to go Juicy.' Chibs' voice was heavy but he drew back from the smaller man and got to his feet. He began to dress and reluctantly Juice did the same. Begging would do nothing except embarrass them both and Juice had too much respect for Chibs to become a pathetic mess in front of him again. Chibs had given him a choice and he'd dug his grave. Now he had to lay in it.

'I never meant to hurt the club, or you. Just remember that okay?'

Juice glanced at Chibs from the door and the man nodded. Their gazes lingered on one another before Chibs closed the door and ended it all. A moment later he heard Juice's footsteps fade away into the night and he shambled towards the kitchen. Good thing he still had a bottle of whiskey because he didn't want to be sober that night…

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	4. Chapter 4

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Chibs/Juice, Shower Sex, Angst , Rimming, Suicide Attempt!**

**Set during S6E13!**

_**4**_

Juice dropped the last of the evidence in the random garbage dumpsters. He looked around, unable to stop glancing over his shoulder every couple of minutes. He half expected Jax to charge him, already aware of his part in Tara's murder and his legs were ready to dart should that happen. The man was already convinced Juice had betrayed him, again, so it was amazing he was still breathing at all. Jax had never given him a chance to explain that he hadn't ratted to Nero on purpose. He'd been high out of his mind and he'd blabbed, the weight of his guilty conscious threatening to crush him otherwise. He hadn't even expected to wake up after downing so many pills but yet again his cowardice backfired. He was such a screw up he couldn't even kill himself properly! Even Mayhem didn't want the likes of him….

The thought of going head to head with Jax was unthinkable, even if he wasn't as guilty as the man suspected. He wasn't innocent either and now he was doing this hasty clean-up out of respect for Gemma but as much as he loved her he didn't doubt that she would gladly throw him under the bus to save her own hide. It would be his word against Gemma's and Juice had to be truly insane to think Jax would believe a rat over his mother.

But here was the latest fucked up thing in a long line of fucked up things. He wasn't even putting his neck on the chopping block out of self-preservation. He didn't really care what happened to him as long as he wouldn't be alone because when he was by himself his mind tended to go to dark places. The voices became all muddled and he suspected Mister Mayhem was whispering poisonous words straight into his ear. He was doing this because Gemma had been like a mother to him, not that he had much experience in the department. He'd left his home when he was a teenager and never attempted to reconnect with his abusive parents. He missed his sister sometimes but not enough to get in contact with her.

Life changed for him when he'd been little more than another lost youth on the streets, waiting for the day when he would be swallowed up by the mean streets and disappear entirely. Considering how violent the streets of Charming were it would be a short wait. Then he'd seen the SAMCRO members riding on their flashy bikes, their cuts dancing in the wind and the world suddenly made sense. This was why he was in Charming. He didn't know what hand guided him or how he suddenly came to the epiphany but when he'd seen the white reaper logo it was like he'd found his feet for the first time. Since that day his whole life revolved around the MC club. He bled for them, cried for them and killed for them. He was so sure he'd die for them too but then he'd ratted in a desperate attempt to keep his place among the members and everything unravelled after that.

Jax found out and had punished him harshly. It took Juice many months of hard work to buy the man's trust again but even now, when Jax said they were good, he was on constant edge. He knew that if he stepped out of line, even a little, all that mistrust would return tenfold and being tangled up in the murder of his wife crossed all kinds of lines. Maybe it would be better if he just came clean, throw himself at Jax's mercy and hope he believed him when he spilled the beans because he knew Gemma would never confess.

Juice turned the idea over in his mind for a moment before he disregarded it. It would never work. Jax would be on a warpath and he would run Juice down like roadkill. The best thing he could do for himself, Jax and Gemma was to disappear for a while. Maybe if he laid low and waited for the drama to blow over he would get his chance to come back… He had to believe that because it was the only thing which had any chance of keeping his self-destructive inclinations in check. He was doing this for the club. He would be the bad guy if it helped Gemma because she was the lifeblood of SAMCRO and Jax's source of strength. If Jax found out the truth and killed Gemma SAMCRO would cease to exist and Juice couldn't let that happen.

He glanced around the dark street one last time before hopping on his bike and speeding away. He'd thrown bits of evidence across the whole town, choosing random bins so they couldn't be easily traced. He hoped he'd done a good enough job considering he had very little time and was alone. The truth would eventually come out, it always did, but Juice had to believe it would take enough time for him to disappear. Being on the run in Charming, where SAMCRO had eyes everywhere would require some serious stealth but luckily he had Gemma in his corner, for now. She told him to go to Wendy's house until she came up with something more secluded.

Juice never felt more at peace than when he was riding. The wind was icy and it stung his bare arms but he welcomed the discomfort. It grounded him and kept his thoughts from wondering down dark alleys. He emptied his mind, letting the thrill of being on the open road take him. He wasn't really paying attention to where he was going and by the time the familiar surroundings registered he was ten feet away from the last apartment complex he wanted to visit. Well, that was a lie. He yearned to be here but he knew it was a stupid idea.

Chibs' place was on the second floor of the complex and the light in the window told Juice the Scotsman was home. A painful lump formed in his throat at the sight of his door. Last time he'd been here Chibs had promised to never open that door to him no matter how much Juice banged the wood. He'd been proud enough to respect the older biker's wishes and had kept his distance, reducing their relationship to a purely professional one. He couldn't deny that seeing Chibs every day around the clubhouse gutted him and it took considerable restraint on his part to stay away.

The hardest part was when Jax still used him to do his dirty work but after Clay was arrested the MC president eased up on Juice. Now they struck a sort of truce, albeit built on a rocky foundation. Juice thought he would be happy to be back on familiar ground but he'd soon discovered how alone he really was. In the past he could always kill time with Chibs and looking back, their time together had probably been some of the happiest moments of his sorry life but after last time….

Juice found himself hating the end of the day because it meant him returning to an empty nest and he would have to ride by Chibs' place every time. He'd even taken to going all the way around, adding an extra half an hour to the journey, just to avoid seeing the apartment complex. And it wasn't like he had a reason to cry a river. He and Chibs hadn't been dating or nothing. They'd been casual fuck buddies, or so it had started but in no time at all Juice found so much more than physical pleasure in the Scotsman's presence. He knew he could never come clean about his affection because that wasn't the sort of world he lived in. Chibs was clearly okay with bedding him but it wasn't like Juice had any delusion of getting married and riding off into the sunset!

'Juice?' The Puerto Rican yelped in a very unmanly way and rounded to find Chibs standing a foot away from him, an amused look on his face at the younger man's startled expression. 'What are you doing here laddie?'

'Um… Nothing. I was just passing by. I'm not a stalker or anything.' Well that sounded lame even to his own ears and it was obvious Chibs didn't believe a word of it but he nodded and accepted the pathetic excuse anyway. Juice noticed he was holding a bag of groceries and put one and two together. Chibs had a tendency to forget the lights on when he stepped out for a quick task, like going to the shop around the corner for some basic supplies.

'Well since you're here how about you come in for a drink. You look like you need it.' Chibs held up the bag and Juice saw the neck of a scotch bottle. The invitation was everything he'd wanted to hear for what felt like a lifetime but he'd learned the hard way to be cautious. The days of him being reckless were long past…

'Are you sure?' He caught Chibs' narrowed eyes and knew the man understood what he was really asking. If he opened that door Juice doubted they would ever get to open the bottle.

'Aye. I'm sure Juicy.' Juice nodded and parked his bike before following Chibs up the iron stairs.

Another tendency Chibs had, was to leave his door unlocked which seemed so out of place with the usually precautious biker. Once inside, Juice was at a loss how to proceed. The smells of the place triggered a plethora of memories he'd tried to bury for so long. The welcoming warmth seeped into his skin and he shivered, his mind finally registering just how cool the night air had been. He hoped the shiver was just from the cold and not the mounting trials of the day. He wanted to leave all that shit outside the door for the time being. Perhaps it was really fucking stupid to linger and waste time with Chibs when he should have been hightailing it to Wendy's place but Juice didn't care. He needed this. He wanted this even more than protecting Gemma.

'Hey man, can I use your shower?' Chibs was busying himself putting away his shopping but he paused to glance at Juice. Even from across the room Juice noticed the way his eyes darkened and it did all sorts of things to his squirming insides. Yep, that bottle would remain untouched…

'Aye. There are fresh towels in the cupboard. You know the one.' Feeling emboldened for no reason at all Juice decided to test the dangerous waters between them.

'Maybe I won't need a towel.' Chibs' nostrils flared just a little and Juice knew he had him. He was intimately familiar with Chibs' tell-tale signs of arousal.

'Aye, you won't.' Juice felt a knot begin to tighten inside his gut and he didn't trust his voice to speak so he walked away.

He took his time getting undressed, folding his cut reverently. He thought he should treasure it while he still had it. Tomorrow he'd be on the lam from the club and he doubted the members would be pleased to find him still sporting the patch when they eventually caught up to him. No, he wasn't thinking of that now. He couldn't allow himself to picture the deep hatred Chibs would have for him once he learned of his betrayal. Once naked, he turned on the water and when it was the right temperature he stepped under the warm rain. The heat soothed his tense muscles and he stood motionless, soaking it in for a time.

His back was turned to the bathroom door so when he felt arms wrap around his waist he gasped softly, his body leaning automatically in the larger bulk behind him. Chibs began kissing along his neck and shoulder and Juice felt like he could come undone from this small attention alone. He turned his head to catch Chibs' lips with his and moaned deeply into the kiss. His heart felt like it could snap in two any second but Juice chose not to care. He was aware how painful all this would be in the morning but if it meant having Chibs' arms around him for a few hours he would deal with the torture.

Chibs reached for the soap and Juice feared he might pass out when slippery hands began roaming over every inch of available skin. The touches were possessive, groping but surprisingly tender. It was a duality only Chibs seemed to get right and Juice's muscles immediately relaxed as expert fingers weeded out the stress. Juice leaned forward, pressing his palms flat against the shower tiles as Chibs gentle push and he widened his stance because he knew what was coming next and he was very eager. Using soap as a lubricant was not a good idea but Chibs was extra careful with his probing, making the intrusion as painless as possible. Juice was grateful for the care but he was far too impatient to appreciate it.

Fortunately Chibs picked up on this and worked him open hastily enough. Maybe he wasn't the only one with a wet dick… At Chibs insistence Juice turned to face him and he lost himself in the demanding kiss, his arms closing tightly around the other's neck. Chibs grabbed his cock and began working him to full hardness, swallowing all the erotic noises Juice couldn't help making. He was even louder when he felt Chibs' cock slide alongside his own so the man could jerk them both simultaneously. Chibs was bigger and Juice loved feeling it pulse against his member. He thrust his hips into the hand, seeking the delicious friction of skin against sensitive skin and licked along the other man's bottom lip. Chibs nipped at his and Juice put a hand on their dicks along with Chibs so they both worked through their orgasm together.

Juice felt the hot spurts coat his fingers and his back slumped against the tiles as his knees went weak. Chibs walled him in with his powerful arms and kissed him deeply as water ran down their sated bodies in rivets. He gave Juice enough time to find his footing before he turned off the water and they both got out of the shower. They dried off hastily, just enough to prevent a nasty cold getting its hooks into them, and they ended up tangled in a mass of limbs on the bed. Chibs took charge and Juice was more than happy to be complacent. He let out a shaky breath when he found himself on all fours, Chibs' calloused hands spreading his cheeks apart.

Juice braced himself, waiting for the fingers to brace him again, picking up where they left off in the shower, but he got something else entirely. A wanton groan nearly choked him as Chibs' tongue licked a wet trail and delved into his loosened hole. The bones in Juice's arms turned to jelly and he dove face first into the pillow as Chibs continued to tongue fuck him until he was moaning louder than a cheap whore. The noises he was making would have put the prostitutes working at Diosa to shame. He was close to coming with his dick untouched but Chibs didn't give him the chance. With one last swipe of the puckered ring of muscles Chibs moved around Juice, spooning him from behind and raised one of his legs, hooking the knee with his hand.

Juice took the chance to steal one more languid kiss before he felt the Scotsman's cock slide deep inside him, slamming against his prostrate on the first try. They set up a good, hard pace, both eager to reach their second orgasm. Juice's body moved in sync with Chibs', the muscle memory taking over. Their bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle and for the first time in far too long Juice felt whole. He felt safe which was a fucked up sentiment considering he would soon be a fugitive from the SOA. To think the same man who had his lips pressed against his jugular would soon be hunting down was pure agony but he refused to let it spoil the moment.

For the second time in one day he found himself with Chibs' hand on his cock and Juice leaned his head back against the shoulder behind him. The pleasant pressure of his imminent ecstasy kept building and building and building and suddenly it burst apart. Like a dam breaking under the strain, it swept through from head to toe, leaving him gasping for breath. Chibs continued fucking him through the orgasm until the push against his prostate became almost painful. As they worked to return back to reality, Juice curled back against Chibs' solid mass, loving the way he left soft kisses along the tribal tattoos running down his scalp. He was fairly certain this was going to be added in his catalogue as one of the best fucks of his life, not that he had a ridiculously long list. He wasn't Jax after all….

'So listen…. I've been thinking about what happened last time and maybe I spoke too hastily. I still don't know what went down between you and Jax but it looks like he calmed down lately. Are you two good?' Juice felt his heart go cold but the lie came easily. To think that not so long ago he couldn't have lied to save his life… Boy, he'd come a long way.

'Yeah. Me and Jax are good.' Juice let that hang in the air for a second, letting the lie sink in. 'Does that mean you're no longer enforcing your closed door policy?'

'Aye. I want you back Juicy and I take it from what we did tonight you're on board with that.' Juice couldn't help a smile as Chibs nuzzled his neck. He loved the way the wiry beard scratched his skin.

'More than you know.' Juice hoped that didn't sound as miserable as it felt. 'I love you man.' Chibs left another kiss on his head before pulling his softened cock out of him and springing to his feet.

'I love you too laddie but right now I'm loving the idea of eating more. Do you want something?' Juice followed suit, beginning to dress. Chibs watched him with disappointment but Juice pretended not to see.

'Nah. Your cooking's shit and I don't really want to deal with a sore ass and food poisoning tomorrow. I think I'll just leave.' Chibs watched him, noting the way Juice deliberately avoided meeting his eyes. He knew when something was off and there was something defiantly off with Juice.

'Is everything alright Juicy?' Juice froze with his belt in his hands. He swallowed thickly before he finally met Chibs' weary gaze.

'Everything's fine Chibs.' Clearly the man didn't believe that for a second but he realized Juice wouldn't give him anything else tonight so he left it at that for now.

'If you say so Juicy but you do know you can talk to me, right? You can trust me.' Juice had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from collapsing into a crying mess, barely holding back from spilling his guts to the man whom he trusted most. The thing which held him back was the image of Chibs recoiling from him when he learned what a two-stabbing fucker he was. Juice knew it would happen soon enough anyway but he didn't want to be there when it did and he didn't want his last night with Chibs to be a bad memory. Talk about sappy shit…

'I know. Thanks.' Chibs nodded and Juice went to him after he slipped his cut back on. He pressed his forehead against Chibs', the other man's hand holding the back of his neck in an intimate gesture of brotherhood.

'I'll see you tomorrow then?' Juice entertained the dream of showing up at the TM tomorrow and everything falling into place like nothing bad had ever happened. Jax would never know what he did though some miraculous grace of God. Nero forgave him. Gemmo loved him enough to protect him. He would continue upgrading their surveillance system while Chibs worked on a car and they would meet for break, share a drink, maybe more. But that was a fantasy and he couldn't afford to indulge it. There would be no tomorrow for him and Chibs.

'Yeah. That sounds good.' Chibs let him go and Juice turned to leave because if he delayed a minute more he was done for. He was out the door before he thought to add one last thing to his unspoken goodbye. 'I love SAMCRO and the guys more than anything else. You guys are my family and I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that? No matter what, I need you to know that.' Chibs looked taken aback but he nodded that yes, he knew that.

'Of course laddie. Wanna tell me what this is all about?' Juice shook his head sorrowfully, a thin smile darting across his face.

'It's nothing. Just wanted you know, that's all. I don't want you to hate me. Forget I said anything, I'm obviously tired and you fucked me without mercy so I'm rambling.'

'Aye, that must be it. Before you go I need you to know something too Juicy. I could never hate you laddie. Now that's all cleared up go get some sleep before you start reciting a poem or some gay shit like that.' Juice scoffed, very much doubting Chibs knew what he was promising but finding comfort in it anyway.

'See you tomorrow old man.' Juice waved without looking back as he left the warmth and safety of Chibs' apartment. The night felt even darker and colder now and he wanted to look back but he stubbornly kept his eyes upfront.

'See you then Juicy.'

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	5. Chapter 5

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Chibs/Juice, Public Sex, Angst & Feels, Rough Sex**

**Set during S7E3!**

_**5**_

Chibs hung up on his PO and stirred the bike towards the agreed upon meeting place. A crowded diner wouldn't have been his first choice but it wasn't his meet to set. At least it was close by. The last time he had to deal with a purchase order he'd had to drive to the edge of Charming which was fucking ridiculous but he'd swallowed his indignation and done it anyway. Errand runs were a pain in the ass but they were necessary for the SAMCRO to function, especially now with their current rocky footing. Jax had his plate full and now that he no longer had Tara to take the edge off he was more unpredictable than ever. Chibs couldn't deny he was scared for the boy and for the club. These were dangerous times.

As if sniffing a chink in his armour the many worries constantly snapping at the edges of his mind began mudding his thoughts. He worked overtime to keep the insidious hounds out but every now and then he threw them a bone. Now wasn't the right time but once they were in, it was fucking impossible to drive them out. Chibs ground his teeth, pulling on the throttle and sending the machine into a speed which was way over the limit. He kind of hoped a pig would start chasing him because he felt like drawing some blood. Jax would have his hide but it wasn't like the president could afford to lose any friends right now. He would get away with a slap on the wrists, assuming they didn't stick him in jail…

After another minute of indulging this idiotic fantasy, Chibs slowed down. Him behind bars would help no one, least of all the club and he was shitting bricks at the idea of leaving an unstable Jax alone. Jax wasn't the same after he got out of the clink. How could he be? He'd been the one to discover Tara murdered on their kitchen floor. They'd had their problems sure, but Chibs knew love when he saw it and Jax had loved Tara. Having the love of his life ripped away from him so violently and without any warning damaged him beyond repair. Chibs knew something about that sentiment… Though he was older and more experienced. He knew how to nurse a heartbreak without falling to pieces, on the outside.

Enough time passed since Juice left for Chibs to begin forgetting his love for the Puerto Rican, if it had even been that. At first he'd hoped the kid went missing, maybe kidnapped as leverage by one of their rival gangs or, worst case scenario, killed. Now he knew better. Now he knew Juice was nothing better than a filthy, back stabbing rat who abandoned his brothers. The hatred and rage he felt for the traitor rose like bile in his throat. He hadn't even had the decency to come up front and face Chibs like a man. He recalled the last night they'd been together with painfully acute clarity. To think the son of a bitch had the stones to show up at his apartment, sleep with him and make some half-assed lie about loving the club more than anything else the very same night he ran like the cowered he clearly was.

Chibs was so enraged he nearly swerved into a tree, the edges of his vision turning red. He swore that if he ever found Juice he would kill him himself. The little shit owed him that much. He was too good to be killed by Jax. Chibs wasn't a religious guy and he rarely prayed but he offered a silent thought to whatever deity chose to listen, if any, that he should be the first to find Juice. He wanted to look the rat in his dark eyes and see the truth. He wanted to know why someone who bled and killed for the patch would do what he did. The thought made him sick but he needed to understand for his own piece of mind or else some part of him would continue to whisper sentiments of sympathy. He stomped his boot on that voice now, banishing it to the darkest, furthest recesses of his mind. He would kill Juice Ortiz or see him dead if it was his last act on this Earth.

Chibs pulled his bike up in from of the diner, parking it near the curb in case he needed a quick getaway. He doubted the deal would go tits up, especially in a crowded place like this, but one could never be too careful. Before he walked towards the establishment he surreptitiously checked his gun, making sure it was loaded and good to go. A nearby kid caught sight of the weapon and looked at him with wide eyes. Hi mother was too engrossed in her phone conversation to notice. Chibs gave the kid a toothy smile and he immediately looked away as if caught doing something bad. Chibs chuckled at that, his mind free of the pesky hounds once more, and got ready to talk some business.

The table was chosen in advance so Chibs knew the man sitting in the sixth booth on the left, beside the window was his PO. He was wearing a black hoodie and a cap, drawn low over his eyes so Chibs couldn't get a read on the man. He didn't look like someone he'd had business with before which immediately had him on alert but he continued approaching, taking off his leather gloves as he did. The diner was busy but their booth was the furthest one back and both other booths were empty so they had sufficient privacy for their transaction. Chibs spotted a few cops in the place too. He really hoped this deal would go smoothly because there wasn't dick he could do with the pigs standing five feet away. Not if he wanted to hold onto his freedom.

Chibs was standing beside the stranger when he froze, recognizing Juice. He was so taken aback by the unexpected sight he forgot all about his death wish or the gun waiting patiently at arm's reach. Juice looked up at him, clearly unsurprised and Chibs realized he'd been set up. His instincts kicked in and his hand shot to his weapon but Juice shook his head before he could take it out. He was holding a gun of his own, barely visible under the table and Chibs pulled his hand back, hatred practically oozing out of his pores.

'Sit down.' Chibs would have rather jumped out the diner window than do what this traitor told him but one quick glance at the gun convinced him to play along for now. Maybe he would finally get some answers to his questions…

'Jesus Christ. You dumb bastard.' Chibs didn't know if he should be impressed by Juice's callousness or pissed off at the sight of him. In the end he settled on the latter.

'I held your OP at gunpoint. It's the only way I could get you to come alone. I needed to talk to you.' Chibs balled his hands into fists to stop from reaching across the table and strangle the man.

'We're way past talking. You should have run when you had the chance.' He was impressed with how level his voice sounded. He certainly didn't feel levelled.

'This is all I have.' Juice unzipped his hoodie, showing his SAMCRO cut. Chibs noted his hand was off the gun. He could turn the table on him if he wanted to… 'I got no place to run to!' Juice looked at him with, and Chibs wouldn't have believed this if it wasn't happening right in front of him, hope in his eyes? What the fuck did the stupid rat think he could say in his defence? Chibs drew in a steading breath and looked away, more than a little exasperated. Maybe hearing Juice's sorry confession wasn't the right call after all. He should just shoot him now and take his chances with the feds afterwards. He thought it but he didn't act on it. His gun remained out of sight.

'What the hell do you want?' The question was dragged out of him through clenched teeth. Whatever Juice asked for was moot. Chibs would only give him a bullet.

'Did the club vote for Mayhem or is Jax doing this on his own?' Chibs scoffed.

'That's none of your business.' He couldn't have been crueller if he'd slapped the kid. The message was clear and he could see Juice got it. He wasn't privy to club matter anymore. He was estranged and him wearing the cut was an insult in of itself. Juice shook his head and tried again.

'I need to know if there's something I can do to earn my way back. I'll do anything man. Please!' Chibs didn't know how much more of this shit he could take. Not only was Juice's groundless hope grinding but he could hear the sincerity in the other biker's voice. He honest to God believed there was something he could do to earn his way back. What a fucking joke!

'If I were you…' Juice leaned in, eager to hear what Chibs had to say. '…I'd get that gun…' A hasty nod. '…put it in my mouth and pull the trigger.' Chibs watched with sadistic satisfaction as the hopeful light in Juice's eyes flickered out of existence. The gleam in the dark depths pulled at something near his heart but Chibs hardened himself to the feeling. He would not feel sorry for Juice. He would not!

A heavy silence fell over them like the curtain at the end of a show. There was nothing left to say on the matter but Juice kept looking at him, waiting for something even as Chibs witnessed a dead calm settle in. He imagined in some misguided attempt Juice reached out to him in a last shot at hope and now he'd cruelly yanked that last lifeline away. He could practically see the rat drown. Finally, with a small nod Juice got to his feet. Chibs watched him, waiting for the moment when he could strike. He planned to follow the Puerto Rican, maybe catch up to him in a more secluded place and send him to Mister Mayhem all wrapped up with bloody ribbons.

But Juice didn't head for the exit. He went to the back of the diner and one look told Chibs he was in the restroom. He couldn't fucking believe it. Was the crazy bastard really doing what he thought he was doing? Had the imbecile lost his last grasp on sanity while on the lam? Chibs shook his head in wonderment, scoffing at the preposterous invitation, determined to wait it out. Maybe he was the crazy one, reading into hints that weren't there. Maybe Juice wanted to piss one last time before dealing with Chibs. Fifteen minutes later the Scotsman knew that wasn't the case and he left the booth. He didn't head for the exit.

There was a man washing his hands and Chibs barked at him to get out. He began voicing some pathetic complaint before he looked at Chibs properly and saw the reaper logo. That shut him up quick enough and he ran out faster than the cartoon mouse, Speedy Gomez or something. Chibs checked the stalls, all empty except one and it wasn't locked. He still had enough time to put an end to this foolishness but instead of doing the smart thing he let himself into the small cubicle, locking the door behind him.

Juice glanced up at him before he dropped to his knees and worked his cock free of his jeans. His cap was off and Chibs got a look at the growth of hair running along Juice's scalp, hiding the tribal tattoos he'd been used to seeing from his vantage point. He was inclined to run his fingertips against the pitch black blades but he refused to give Juice any ideas that he still felt anything other than hatred for him. He would fuck the man but there would be no love in it. He was just another hole to bury his wet dick in. Whatever tender moments they might have shared in the past were mistakes he would soon forget completely.

He grabbed the back of Juice's head and pushed him down, forcing him to take the full length of his throbbing cock into his mouth. Juice groaned, making a strangled choking sound but didn't struggle. Chibs knew he could take it and sure enough, after a few deep thrusts, Juice found his bearing. He drew in breath through his nose and let Chibs move his head to the pace he wanted. There was nothing forgiving about Chibs' treatment. Juice's jaw was beginning to hurt and his eyes were stinging but he could tell Chibs was on the verge of coming. He could taste the salty precum on his tongue and a moment later his mouth was flooded with the hot spurts.

Chibs' cock left his mouth with a wet, filthy sound and Juice coughed a handful of times before licked his lips, tasting the last of the white spunk. Chibs grabbed him by the arm and hoisted him to his feet, shoving him harshly against the wall of the stall. All the air whooshed out of Juice as his hands rose automatically to break the impact. The noise probably attracted some attention but Chibs had made sure the employees saw him go into the bathroom. They knew what his affiliation was and if they had half a brain between them then they knew not to barge in. Chibs pulled Juice's hoodie off and his cut. He wasn't going to fuck a brother, not like this. Juice wearing the symbol of their fraternity was a deal breaker.

Juice felt his pants being pushed down his knees and he got ready for what came next. He doubted Chibs would take the time to stretch him. Fortunately he'd taken care of some preliminary preparation himself while he waited for Chibs to make up his mind and follow him to the bathroom. He'd hoped Chibs would follow him. He'd hoped there was still something left between them and when he saw the man enter the stall he knew that Chibs hadn't completely given up on him. Juice knew better than to beg for anything more but having him pressed against him gave him just enough hope to keep him going. That's how desperate he was for even the smallest crumb of forgiveness.

The pressure of Chibs' forearm against the back of his neck held Juice pinned to the wall before a jolt of pain shot up his spine. He groaned when Chibs shoved his rock hard member inside his tight hole. Spots danced across the back of his eyelids as he tried to breathe through the sudden jolt, his body struggling to accommodate. Chibs began moving, the hand on Juice's hip holding the flesh with bruising force. Juice had to push back just to stop his body from being banged painfully against the wall. Was it fucked up that he was getting hard? It wasn't like Juice had a fetish about being raped but he definitely had a dominance kink. He'd found that out the hard way with Jax… Being dominated by Chibs, a man he really wanted to spread his legs for, did wonders for his stiffy and before long his groans became a hell of a lot closer to moans.

'Chibs-…' A hand clamped across his mouth and Juice understood. Calling names out was against the rules. The hand stayed pressed against his lips and two fingers reached inside to run along his tongue. Juice sucked them in with gusto, twisting his verbal muscles around the digits like he'd done when he had a cock pushing against the back of his throat.

Chibs growled, his breath hot against the nape of Juice's neck as he snapped his hips forwards, ramming with unforgiving force against the sensitive bundle of nerves. If it wasn't for the fingers gagging him, Juice would have made enough noise to bring the whole block rushing in. Teeth grazed against his skin but didn't bite. Chibs didn't want to mark him. There would be no physical memory of this slip up. Juice felt his balls tighten and he brought a hand to his needy erection. Chibs wouldn't work him so he had to if he wanted to come. He set up a pace fast and sloppy enough to match Chibs' thrusts, knowing the other biker was also dancing on the cliff's edge.

Juice swallowed against the fingers pinching his tongue, his eyes shutting as the wave built. He wanted Chibs to call his name in that possessive, hungry voice which was drenched in sex but he was shit out of luck. The fingers silencing any coherent words made it clear the no name rule was still in play. A wild shiver rippled along him and he tried giving a warning but it came out as more senseless noise. Cum shot into his hand, staining his white t-shirt too and his muscles spasmed and clenched around Chibs' cock. It was the final push for the other man too and Juice gasped for breath at the sensation of being filled. They stayed like that a while, harsh breaths raking through both their overworked bodies, before Chibs stepped back.

Juice chanced a glance over his shoulder, hoping to see a little tenderness but Chibs still had that same unforgiving, disappointed look in his eyes. He got dressed quickly and Juice did the same, neither speaking a word. He realized that for Chibs this fuck had been as emotionless as his time with a paid whore. Juice was beginning to see how stupid it was to hold on to hope. Chibs took him up on his invitation because he wanted a quick screw, not because he still had some lingering sentiment of love for him. The thought cut like a knife and Juice was running out of ways to patch the wound up.

Juice found his cap and put it back on. When he focused back on Chibs he stood paralysed, staring into the barrel of his gun. He glanced from the weapon to the man and from the man to the weapon, surprised at how okay he was with this. Well if that wasn't fucked up… Juice realized that if he had to be shot he'd rather be done in by Chibs. It was the best outcome he had any right to hope for this late in the game. He reached for the gun, carefully, ready to lower his hand if Chibs told him to. He didn't so Juice held the muzzle of the weapon and guided it to point right at his heart. He looked deep into Chibs' eyes, silently begging him to pull the trigger. He wanted this. It would make everything so much easier and he knew Mister Mayhem would welcome a coward like him with open arms.

'What are you doing laddie?' Chibs narrowed his eyes, for the first time in more than half his life, understanding how easy killing was. All it took was an impulse and a finger pressing a trigger. He hadn't spared a thought on the frailty of human life since his first kill, yet that impulse which usually came with ease was nowhere to be found now.

'Do it. We both know this is how it'll end anyway. Either you kill me now or I keep running until Jax or someone else catches up and kills me then. You said it yourself. I should just cut my losses and fucking end it, right?' Chibs ground his teeth because everything Juice said was true.

'If you want to end it then do it yourself like the coward you are. I'm not doing your dirty work for you.' Chibs lowered his gun, hating himself for it. The truth was, he couldn't fucking pull the trigger but that was a truth he would take to his grave.

'I'm sorry brother. I never meant to hurt the club. It's the only family I have.' Chibs rolled his eyes, rethinking his decision not to shoot.

'Leave before I change my mind rat. Call me again and I promise you, I'll kill you myself.'Chibs fixed him with a steely glare and after a moment Juice nodded. He moved past Chibs but just before he unlocked the door he caught Chibs' eyes one more time. They were close enough for him to smell Chibs' cologne.

'I love you brother.' Chibs didn't look at him and Juice didn't wait for a reply. He knew Chibs still cared for him, enough to let him get away, and that made this whole trip worth the risk. Gemma would kick his ass once she got wind of it though… 'If you follow me, I'll open a round in your tires.' With that he was gone and Chibs still didn't have the answers he was looking for. He had nobody to blame though. He never asked the questions…

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	6. Chapter 6

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Jax/Juice, Rape/Non-Con!, Rough Sex, Mindbreak!, Bloody, Violent, Power Play, Semi-Voyeurism, Feels **

**Set during S7E6!**

_**6**_

Juice felt like he was suffocating in the tiny, dark room. There were no windows and only one way out which was definitely guarded. The Sons finally had him in their grasp and there was no way Jax would give him an opening to make another run for it. But really, come to think of it, did he even want to run? He was tired to the bone and he had nowhere to go. Coming to Alvarez had been a bold move or had it been a dumb one? He knew his chances of reaching Mexico were just a smidgen above zero but he'd taken his chances anyway. At the risk of going all shrinky on his own ass, he probably wanted to be caught.

He was never going to sell club secrets to the Mayans. If his bluff was called he would have just fed them a bunch of bullshit which he could make sound believable but he wasn't far enough gone to align himself with the Mayans. He'd lost count of the number of bullets those assholes fired at him. He did respect Alvarez for his loyalty though. He'd rightly suspected the man would trade him off to Jax because there was little reason to think he was worth the trouble of being shipped past the border. What would he do in Mexico anyway? Start selling tacos? Nah, Juice only went through all this trouble to save some face. He didn't want to be caught with his tail between his legs and he didn't want to keep running so this seemed like the next logical option.

Seeing the members again though, that had been rough. He was used to the disgust in Jax's eyes since the MC president was perfectly aware of the scummy depth into which he'd sunk but the others? Juice doubted he'd ever felt like a bigger waste of breath in his sorry ass life. Of course the worst to face was Chibs but he'd steeled himself for the pain in advance. This was his last attempt to buy some grace though he feared he would never be seen as a real brother again. That was the thing about trust. It was a bitch to earn and once lost it was impossible to get back. It was a total shot in the dark but if Jax still saw some potential in him he would use Juice and if not, he would be dead before the hour was up. Win, win really…

Now they stuck him in this cupboard, because it couldn't be called a room by any stretch of the imagination, while Alvarez and Jax squared things out. Juice wondered briefly what he was worth and immediately knew his ass was free. Jax wouldn't bother trading anything of importance for a traitor and Alvarez was smart enough to anticipate that. Juice was out of the loop so he didn't know what SAMCRO's been up to lately but he felt the tension as soon as he saw the members. They were all on edge and he would be a gift from Alvarez to Jax meant to solidify the trust bond between the two gangs. Alvarez could have just as easily packed him off to SAMCRO in pieces so he supposed he was grateful for every breath he still drew in, for however long that still happened…

It really amazed him how wrong he'd been when he'd thought he had nothing left to lose in the past. Now he really and truly had nothing left. He'd lost the club, then Jax's trust, then Chibs turned his back on him and now Gemma too? His heart was still struggling to reconcile with the image of Gemma driving him off to the middle of nowhere to kill him. Fuck, that was messed up. After all he'd done for her, the secrets he'd kept, the position he'd put himself in, that's how she repaid him? A heavy pill to swallow indeed… This last hoorah was everything he had left and if it didn't happen then he'd finally get to rest at least. He was little more than a dead man walking.

Juice caught the sound of booths approaching, at least two sets, and stood perfectly straight, waiting for Jax's verdict. It came to his attention that the warehouse was deadly quiet. He'd been too caught up in his own thoughts to notice the absence of members chattering and bartering as they carved up territories and made underhanded deals. So the club voted for Mayhem after all then. Alvarez and his guys probably gave the MC space to deal with Juice. He wondered if they'd take the time to bury him or if they'd just leave his corpse off somewhere by the side of the highway. It would be a fitting end and maybe he could even be of some use to a vulture or two.

The door opened and Juice met Jax's glare square on. It wasn't out of defiance or to prove something. He just wanted to hold onto the last fragment of his dignity before Jax killed him. Was that too much to hope for? He glanced at the other biker walking in after Jax and his eyes darted away to burn a hole in the wall. Why did it have to be Chibs? Serendipity was a right bitch. Juice wished the Scotsman had been kind enough to shoot him at the diner, in that bathroom stall, or that he'd been brave enough to do the deed himself but he was too much of a pussy. He hadn't lied when he'd told Unser why he kept running despite having no destination and no reason to drag his sorry ass around. He was too much of a coward to do anything else. Admitting that was perhaps the most honest he'd ever been.

'Wait outside Chibs. Wait by the door in case I need you.' Juice let out a relieved breath, hoping the immense gratitude didn't show too strongly on his face. He didn't want Chibs to see him get killed, not if Jax was holding the gun. He glanced at the man who didn't let any emotion bleed into his steady gaze. If he'd been looking for mercy he wouldn't find any there.

'Aye.' Jax pulled out his gun and Juice waited for it to find its mark but instead of pointing in his direction Jax handed it to Chibs. The gears in Juice's mind started spinning and whatever peace he'd made with his end crumbled. This wasn't an execution. It was a power play meant to test Chibs' resolve. Juice felt the hairs on the back of his neck raise and he looked from one man to the other, weariness shrinking his heart to a dot. 'I wash my hands clean of him.'

Juice couldn't help the strangled laugh clawing out of his throat. Yet again he found something else to lose. He didn't call out to Chibs, though he yearned to, as the man turned his back on him. The door closed with a resounding bang, far too loud in the tiny room and he was left alone with Jax. The two must have talked before coming to him and reached some sort of agreement. This felt rehearsed. Juice didn't have any allusions about Jax being in the dark about his and Chibs' relationship. Relationship? Well it didn't matter what he called it anymore. Whatever it had been it was about to be razed to the ground.

Juice closed his eyes, waiting for the hits to shower down on him and when the first punch made contact with his cheek he was send sprawling against a nearby shelf, sending buckets of pain splattering all over the concrete floor. He shakily righted himself again and the second punch had him crashing against the other wall. Jax was putting his back into the blows and if he kept going Juice would be lucky to get away with a broken jaw. He stood up on unsteady legs and Jax grabbed his shirt, turning him and hurling him against the door. He did it again and again until Juice's head was swimming, his skull screaming from multiple sources of pain. His eyes were rolled back as his head fell forward, blood streaming down his chin from his busted nose but Jax didn't let him off that easily. A well delivered hit to his solar plexus had him doubling over, gasping for breath. Juice didn't cry out though. He ground his teeth and accepted each punch and kick because he knew he deserved everything Jax threw at him.

Physical pain he could manage. He'd become quite adept at it and his lips curved into a small smile, showing his bloodied teeth. Jax looked at him, his expression indiscernible, but Juice couldn't be surprised anymore. Rather than being thrown against the door again he went to it willingly, turning his back on Jax. The loss of blood and, what he correctly assumed was a concussion, blurred his vision but didn't dull his senses any. He spit out blood as his jeans were pushed down and ran his tongue over each tooth, making sure they were all there. One canine felt a little loose but it was probably just his imagination. The salty, bitter taste of blood coated his tongue and he focused on the iron under-taste to take his mind off what Jax was doing.

Juice hadn't been prepared for this and he didn't think Jax would be courteous enough to stretch him. Fortunately it wasn't the first time he'd been fucked dry but it was still one of those experiences that never got easier no matter how many times they happened. Jax's cock was thick, thick enough to cause considerable agony as it thrust inside his far too tight hole. Juice strained to hold back the yell but it stubbornly forced its way out of his mouth. Something wet and warm trickled down his thigh and he knew it was blood. Jax's brutal attack was tearing him up, quite literally, and the sting was excruciating.

Juice's breath was laboured and he pressed his forehead against the painted wood, knowing Chibs was on the other side and hearing every sound he made but taking no comfort at the thought. He smelled smoke and recognized Chibs' chosen brand of cigarettes. At least Jax had the good grace to let Chibs wait outside. Juice didn't know if he was strong enough to survive had Chibs been in the room with them, witnessing Jax fuck him bloody. Each push was worse than before, more of him falling apart despite his futile attempts to keep it together. Funny, he hadn't thought he still had tears left to cry but here they were, mixing with the still flowing blood to drip on the floor. The Mayans wouldn't be happy with the mess but Juice doubted Jax gave a shit.

He refused to call Chibs' name out loud but he couldn't stop repeating the word over and over inside his head like a mantra. It was the only grain of order in the chaos surrounding him. Jax grabbed the back of his neck, nails leaving their bite into his skin and Juice could see the end in sight. It was almost over. He didn't know what Jax had planned for him next but whatever it was he couldn't count on Chibs to speak on his behalf, that much was painfully evident. He tried to imagine the face Chibs was making on the other side of the door as he listened to Juice being brutally raped by his leader but all he could conjure up was the cold, distant eyes looking right through him. Juice might as well be dead already, that's what those eyes said.

Jax came violently and Juice's insides squirmed at the burning sensation. It didn't repulse him or please him. He was dead inside and numb and another crazy cackle punctured the silence. There was nothing more dangerous in this world than a man who had nothing left to lose, especially when that man's weak grasp on sanity was slipping. Juice was that man so whatever Jax had in store for him he'd do it. It wasn't like he had any scruples left. Morality? Ha! Now that was a funny joke!

Jax let him fall in a heap, watching him with icy blue eyes as he dragged himself against the wall. The tears stopped flowing or maybe he just finally ran out. The world around him faded out of focus, his eyes staring but not seeing. Juice was vaguely aware of the door opening and Chibs entering. He didn't have the strength or heart to look at the man. The previously spilled paint was cold against his skin. It was black. Fitting.

'Jesus Christ…' Chibs swallowed audibly at the sorry sight. Had Juice looked up then he would have seen the pity which Chibs had so expertly disguised with hate before.

'He'll live. We still need him to take care of Lin. We'll plant him in the joint and give him his chance to redeem himself. Maybe he still has hope of going out like a man.' Juice barely heard the words and those he did made little sense. It was all the same anyway. Jax would tell him what to do and he would do it. It was that simple…

'What about him now? He looks half dead. Maybe you overdid it Jacky?' Jax raised an eyebrow at Chibs' question. He wasn't an idiot. Chibs thought he was hiding it well but he saw the sympathy and he knew it made him weak when it came to matters regarding Juice. If this last attempt to sever the link between the two of them completely didn't work then Jax doubted anything ever would. If Chibs still held some sentiment of love towards Juice then he truly pitied the man. He didn't want that sort of torture on his worst enemy's pet, certainly not on his VP.

'Maybe I did. We'll give him some time to recover while the guys get back. I'm gonna go take care of some family business. You can do what you want. Leave him here if you want or patch him up. It's up to you. I won't ask any questions.'

Chibs nodded, his head moving with difficulty as if the bones in his neck were rusty. His eyes didn't leave Juice's collapsed form as Jax walked past him. He ran a hand through his hair, weighing his options. On one hand he had no reason to help out the rat and he understood why Jax did what he'd done. As unorthodox as his methods had been, Jax meant to help him cut Juice loose. Damn his idiotic bleeding heart! On the other hand this was an extreme level of abuse which was meant to break Juice in body and mind. Jax's personal beef with the excommunicated member obviously shone through. Chibs knew for a fact he wouldn't have shoved his cock up any other traitor's ass.

'Jesus Christ… Why the fuck didn't you do what I told you to do Juicy? One bullet would have been better than this.' Chibs sighed and bent to pick up the limp body. Juice groaned in his arms, barely hanging onto consciousness as Chibs dragged him out of the room to somewhere he could lay him down. He would patch him up as best he could, if only to stop the other members from asking the wrong questions. 'Jesus Christ…. Jesus fucking Christ.' He should have been kind enough to kill the lad when he had the chance. Fuck load of good regret did either of them now…

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M/M, Jax/Juice/Tully, Dubious Consent!, Rough Sex, Broken Juice, Power Play, Sex Toy **

**I just wanted to make a little note of how I saw Juice's mental break during this series. Every time he thought he had nothing left to lose he lost something until now when he hit the lowest of the low. Remember, the actual SOA events are still going on in the backdrop of all those stories. There's no resistance left in him and no will to run or fight. I'm only putting this out there because he might come off as OOC...**

**Alright, note over! Have fun reading! XD**

**Set during S7E11!**

_**7**_

Jax worried his bottom lip until he tasted the coppery tang of his own blood. He was on edge and he would have killed someone for a smoke but the last thing he needed was to be thrown out on his ass for braking a stupid no smoking rule. He needed to get some answers and the only one who could provide them was Juice. He'd honestly thought he'd seen the last of the Puerto Rican but the man was like cancer. Every time he receded to fuck knows where it was only a matter of time before he showed up again. Admittedly this time Jax was the one seeking him out so he couldn't be too unfair to Juice. He glanced at the camera and the blinking red dot was off. This let Jax know their conversation wouldn't be taped. These family matters had to be discussed in private after all.

He'd recently come by some troubling news regarding Tara's death. If what Unser had said about the supposed killer being across the state at the time of the murder turned out to be true, then everything Jax had done since was for naught. Could it be possible that he'd started a gang war with Lin over a rumour which turned out to be a lie? If so, then Bobby's death along with countless others were on his head. Jax paled at the thought especially when he visualized Abel's little face. His son was convinced Gemma, his mother, killed Tara, his wife. He couldn't believe that. He didn't want to believe that but Jax needed to hear the truth no matter how painful it may be. So many emotions were at war inside him that he felt like a scrap of meat being pulled apart by starved lions.

And everything led back to Juice. The man had corroborated Gemma's story and if it was all a lie then this was yet another line on the list of betrayals under Juice Ortiz's name. Well, one way or another Jax would get the truth at long last and he would hear every sincere word out of Juice's mouth. He kept cracking his fingers, his impatience all too palpable. Unser had to pull some serious strings to get this meeting to happen and the rest was up to Tully. He still had to hear what the prisoner wanted for turning off the cameras and bringing Juice to him. He was sure the man didn't do him a solid out of the goodness of his heart. That's not how prison worked. He might have to pay a hefty price in profits but if it got him the name of Tara's murderer then Jax would do so in a heartbeat.

Finally his ears picked up on the sound of nearing steps. One more minute and he would have gone in search of Juice himself though Jax didn't think he would get two feet before the guards got him. He was already pacing around like a caged tiger but he stilled when he heard the door handle being pushed open. He immediately assumed his no nonsenses face, picturing himself in church about to bring the gavel down on a life and death decision. Considering who he was about to sit down with that possibility wasn't entirely implausible. If Juice did as he was told and killed Lin then Jax would keep his word and let the sorry rat serve his time in jail, assuming he had nothing to do with Tara's murder. If he did, and Jax's fine-tuned instincts told him Juice was very involved indeed, then all bets were off.

An officer came in first but Jax didn't pay him much mind. He was one of the corrupt ones whose moral compass had no problem straying if his pockets were a little heavier by the end of the day. Jax didn't recognise his face right away so he knew the man wasn't in the Sons' pocket. Most likely he was one of Tully's. Speak of the devil himself… Every time Jax saw the Aryan Brotherhood member he felt a chill crawl up his spine. There was something very off about the man, other than his despicable believes even by Jax's standards. Maybe it was the pale eyes which seemed all the more luminous in the dark. That couldn't be normal… But he was a shot caller and a big player in Stockton so Jax pointedly ignored the heebie jeebies. He watched as the cop removed Tully's handcuffs and they exchanged greetings. He planned to keep the meeting as smooth and amicable as possible, a difficult task considering how high strung he was…

'Had to come up. Only way I could secure the room.' Tully nodded at the useless camera as he took a seat opposite Jax. 'Pretty Puerto Rican's on his way.' Jax was all too aware of Juice's prison role, now that he had no protection from the Sons and Tully was his cellmate. From what he'd heard the prisoner's tastes were… diverse. He also liked to share and Juice would have to be stupid to play hard to get. His ass was his only bartering chip and maybe Jax felt a little sorry for him. Maybe not.

'Appreciate it.'

'Talked to Otis, black and white problem's been solved.'

'Yeah. He's a solid guy.' At least some things were still working the way they should have been. Jax was going to take his victories where he could get them. The SOA were in desperate need of some wins. Tully brought out a phone and placed it on the table, tapping the screen with a finger. Jax's eyes fixed on it, sensing another victory was at hand but he didn't know if this one would be worth celebrating.

'Lin's confession.' Jax looked back up at Tully. He was honestly surprised the Triad leader had been so quickly disposed of. A little disappointed too. If he'd been wrong and Lin never put out a hit on any of Jax's family the repercussions of his mistakes would be ceismical. 'Juice took care of him this morning. It was clean. There will be no blowback.' Tully leaned back, clearly proud with his part in the deed. Under normal circumstances Jax would have offered a respectful smile but not today. His mind was too heavy for smiles.

'He's dead?'

'Yeah, that was the point wasn't it?' Tully raised an eyebrow and Jax couldn't very well take the hit back now. The deed was done. Lin was dead. He hoped more than anything that Juice denied playing any part in Tara's death but Jax doubted it would make much difference anyway. There was no way the Triads won't come for some compensation.

'Yeah…'

'Alright, what about Ortiz? Does that pay off his sins?' Jax shook his head since he had no good answer to that question yet. He missed seeing a particularly lascivious gleam in Tully's eyes. If the Sons began backing Juice again then he would be off limits while in prison, unless Tully wanted to piss off Jax and he'd already come to the conclusion it would be counterproductive.

'I'm not sure.' Well that sounded promising…

Before Tully could ask for more clarification, the door buzzed and in came the tasty eye candy himself. Juice had a somewhat cocky gait to his stride, probably very hopeful about seeing Jax after killing Lin. Some of that hope dimmed when he caught sight of Tully but he masked his apprehension like a pro. Juice had been waiting for this moment since he'd been dumb enough to get caught at the Mayans' headquarters. He'd been offered a way back into the club and he'd done everything Jax asked. Surely that had to count for something. He'd been the plaything of half the inmates, and the guards, without once voicing a complaint, all for this meeting. Juice spotted the phone on the table and knew Jax was already aware of his success. Even Tully couldn't cast a shadow on this day, at least not until later when they were alone in their cell.

'Let me know.' Tully looked directly into Jax's eyes and nodded off to the side in Juice's direction. He got the feeling the two men had been discussing him but it didn't look like Jax was particularly angry. Maybe Tully had bragged about what an obedient whore he'd been… That would certainly help his reputation among the SOA… What if Chibs heard? Nah, Jax would never do that to his VP. Then again, he had raped Juice a foot away from him so why would he hold back? Juice pushed all those anxieties out of his mind. If he got his just deserts he would get a chance to explain things to Chibs himself.

'Thank you.' Jax held his hand out, expecting a farewell shake but Tully remained seated. Immediately Juice was worried. He'd learned to tell when Tully wanted something done on the hush hush and the way his lips curved slowly into a smile brought images of him bend over his cot with visceral clarity.

'Hold onto your thanks. I have yet to ask for my payment. Securing this room was not cheap.' Jax had nearly forgotten about that and he sighed before nodding. He wished Tully had the forethought to bring this up before Juice was here. Now he had to put the questions bubbling inside him like a witches' brew on hold while he waited for Tully to name his reward.

'What do you want? Careful. The Brotherhood and Sons are finally on good ground. I'm happy to exchange as much as I can but I wouldn't risk the foundation if I were you.' Tully scoffed and gave the guard a signal. The man left without saying a word. Juice didn't know what to do with himself. He stood there since there was no vacant seat and waited to be acknowledged. He wasn't stupid enough to interject and call attention to himself.

'Trust me, this will bear no effect on anyone outside this room. You've been in here before Jax so you know how boring it can get. You've provided me with an opportunity to break the monotony and I know you'll enjoy it too. You can't look me in the eyes and tell me you had that pretty thing in your employee and didn't tap him.' Tully pointed at Juice who was still processing the implications of what he'd just heard. He realized he didn't really mind, the sex that was, but he needed to know if Jax planned to protect him again. If it was only for Tully's entertainment then Juice understood his ass was grass since it was all business. What was one more cock up his hole? But what about later?

'I did, but it was meant to teach a lesson.' Tully barked a laugh.

'I've taught a lot of lessons to my guys in the past and rarely did I use my dick as a tool. Don't lie to me. You wanted to bend him over from day one but you needed an excuse first. You can admit it, we're all friends here.' Jax's eyes were dangerously dark and they reminded Juice of a shark sniffing blood.

'Yeah, I suppose you're right. But are you really only interested in watching me fuck Juicy when you could get a pretty penny for your troubles? That sounds insane to me.' Tully got to his feet, his dangerous grin never leaving his lips, and went to Juice. He walked around the petrified biker and brought his arms around so he could unbutton the blue shirt. He made sure not to rip any of them because prison uniforms were expensive. Juice glanced away, not happy about the intense lust he'd glimpsed in Jax's cold eyes. There were so many emotions swirling there but for the time being desire shone the brightest.

'Insane or not, it's the payment I want. Feel free to say no. I won't hold it against your men but the boy will suffer the consequences later.' His breath was hot against Juice's neck and he held back a shiver. Fuck, his body was becoming way too accustomed to being fucked. It reacted in all sorts of strange ways at the slightest touch but to deny himself the pleasure was to accept raw agony. He needed it to dull the sharpness, though a bag of blow would have taken the edge off just as well.

'You made your case Tully. Hand him over and enjoy the show, I guess.' Jax needed this too, if he was being totally honest with himself. He needed some sort of outlet before his brain became smothered by all those damned insecurities whispering poison in his ears. He'd been so busy with the club he'd barely had time to sleep, forget about fuck. A man who dealt with the level of stress he did needed a good pussy to keep his head in the game. In a pinch Juice would do too. His dick began getting wet at the memory of how tight that ass could be. He took it back. Juice would be far better than a pussy.

Jax unzipped his jeans and spit in his hand, working himself to full hardness. Juice watched the rising erection with some trepidation but his own member gave a jump of anticipation. Wow, his body really was on par with a whore's…. His mouth was watering at the thought of going to his knees and taking Jax into his mouth. He glanced at the MC president and got the nod to go ahead. Apparently his wish was written clearly on his face and Juice was too far gone to register the shame of that. The cock slid easily against his tongue and it was all too easy for Juice to take the full length in. He vaguely recalled a time when something of this girth would have made him gag and choke but now his practice was showing.

'I forgot how good he was at this. I'm guessing some credit goes to you?' Jax threw Tully a smirk. The Arian was casually leaning against the wall with his arms folded, taking Jax up on his advice and enjoying the show.

'I take care of my pets.'

Jax tilted his head, hesitant to ask for details, before he pushed Juice away. He was rock hard now and he wasn't about to waste his load on the guy's mouth, not when there was a better option. Juice's lips were red and plump, wet with spit and precum and oh so inviting but Jax had more self-control than that. He wished Juice had hair to grab onto but the tribal streaks were also an attractive alternative. It wasn't a big surprise that Jax had a thing for ink but most whores kept away from the needles since not all their clientele shared Jax's interest. Fortunately, Juice had tattoos all over his body and it was doing all sorts of things to Jax, not that he needed any added help with how dry his balls were. He pushed Juice harshly against the desk, cringing inwardly as the edge dug into his hipbone but liking how it fuelled the sadist in him. His hands were ready to tear the pants off of the raised ass when Tully cleared his throat.

'You can't fuck him from behind. That's so… impersonal. He did good work for you Jax. Don't you think he deserves something a little more intimate?' Jax nearly burst into gut busting laughter at the suggestion but Tully was serious. This was all part of the song and dance. He thought Juice was already being treated better than he deserved but he had no intention of going into that with the voyeur.

'Any other stipulations I should know about? Maybe you'd like it if I slip a ring on his finger first?' There was a discernable growl to Jax's voice which betrayed his annoyance but Tully had waltzed with scarier men than Jax Teller. His casual stance didn't change.

'If that's what you want. That's your prerogative. I only want to see my darling Puerto Rican pet's expression when he comes undone. He likes it when he's fucked from the front but I'm sure you already know that.' Jax knew there was more to it. He didn't for a second believe Tully gave a rat's ass about Juice's preferences. Nah, Tully was curious to see how much he could get away with. He was testing Jax and not so long ago, back when he'd been a hot-headed brat, he would have refused to comply with Tully's suggestions on principle. Now he didn't see the problem with yielding that insignificant amount of power. Oh, how he'd grown…

'In my experience he likes it rough and hard while pinned against a wall. You should try it some time.' Tully flashed him a leering grin, not at all offended by having the tables turned on him.

Juice was taking all this in strides. They were talking about him like he wasn't even there but that was just as well. It wasn't like he had something to say, not with Tully in the room. He saw the phone in his peripherals and he stealthily inched away. If that fragile piece of technology broke then he'd have killed Lin for nothing. His world turned upside down when Jax drew him back to a standing position, turned him around and pushed him back against the desk. The iron legs scraped against the floor with an unpleasant screech but the phone was still safe. Juice scooted back, parting his legs reflexively after Jax yanked his pants off. He wondered if he should put his arms around Jax's neck or support himself against the desk but he was pushed flat on his back instead.

Juice kept his eyes on the ceiling as cold hands moved over his abdomen and chest, pushing his white t-shirt up in a bunch. Juice felt the hem press against his lips and he bit it, keeping the material from going back down. It would also serve to silence him but Juice knew for a fact nobody would come running even if he screamed bloody murder. The cops on the other side of the door were all in Tully's pocket and they all fucked him before so they probably loved letting their dirty imaginations run wild. They'll come looking to get their cocks sucked later for sure, but maybe Juice would no longer be required to do that. The cops were horny pigs but they weren't stupid. They wouldn't fuck with him if it became known that Juice was part of SAMCRO once more.

'What the fuck are those?' Juice felt his cheeks burn, almost shocked to find some embarrassment still existed in him. He suddenly found great interest in the neutral colour of the ceiling, pretending not to hear Tully's gleeful snicker. He felt Jax's thumbs stretch his hole and he bit his lip hard enough to hurt.

'I wasn't about to let you violate him dry. That would make me a terrible cellmate.'

Juice suspected Tully had something planned for him when he'd been told to bend over earlier that day. He'd been ready for another quick morning fuck, nothing out of the ordinary, but instead Tully had taken his time to stretch him with copious amounts of lubricant. If he hadn't known any better he would have assumed this was an act of kindness but then Tully pulled out a chain of silver beads. Juice wasn't an expert in sex toys but it was impossible not to see some of them in action when frequenting a place like Diosa. Anal beads were one of the most commonly used so yeah, when Juice saw the item in Tully's hand he recognized it for what it was.

The spheres were roughly an inch in diameter which was fairly standard but Juice still looked at Tully with the most pleading look he could muster. This only seemed to egg him on though and Juice had to bite on his tongue as ball by ball, Tully inserted the beads, using his free hand to jerk Juice off. It was his first experience with any sort of sex toy and Juice had to admit it wasn't a pleasant one, primarily because Tully forced him to keep them inside for the duration of the day. He had to walk, talk and go about the day's business while aware of the pressure pressing against the walls of his anus. Obviously the sick bastard had everything planned out and Juice doubted he'd ever be able to meet Jax's eyes again without remembering his current position. At least he didn't hear any disgust in the blond biker's tone, just curiosity. Maybe taking charge of Diosa had taught Jax a few things too…

'How thoughtful of you.' Juice felt the blood rush south as Jax began pulling the beads out, one by one, slowly. Whatever shame he'd felt was soon forgotten and he bit harder on the shirt between his clenched teeth. When he was almost half way up the chain, Jax suddenly pulled the entire link out in one swift motion. Juice's eyes went wild and a jolt of pleasure rushed through his body, bringing salty tears to the corners of his eyes. He wished he had something soft to grab onto but his fingers had to settle with clenching the rim of the desk painfully hard while his toes curled. The sudden absence of something filling him was unpleasant. He needed more and he hoped Jax wasn't in a teasing mood. 'Fucking hell, your ass is hungry Juicy. Ready for the main course?' Had Juice's mouth not been occupied he would have begged like the most wanton of prostitutes but instead he conveyed his desperation through a soft whine.

Jax teased Juice a little, nudging the head of his cock against the puckered ring of muscles, his eyes visibly darkening as he watched the precum leave trails against the pink flesh. Finally he began pushing his member inside, finding no resistance at all but still taken aback by the hot tightness. The muscles constricted around him, swallowing him whole and Jax hissed. He couldn't remember if he'd ever had consensual sex with Juice before, if that was the correct word for this, but he knew for a fact his ass had never felt this good. It had always been tight and hot but it never worked around his dick like this. Maybe Chibs was onto something, before his cock zoned in on that bitch Jarry. That relationship would never last though, Jax could see the inevitable end from day one. Once Chibs got a taste of Puerto Rican apparently he was hooked for life, assuming Jax decided to let Juice live. With a few words he had the power to destroy not one, but two lives and it was frankly intoxicating.

Juice had no way of guessing what was going on in Jax's mind but his thrusts became more powerful, more determined with very little warning. At some point his shirt fell out of his open mouth and his head fell back, the surface of the desk too small to support it. A slight sense of vertigo washed over him but Jax was ramming too relentlessly against his prostrate for his disorientated mind to register much else. The way Jax was fucking him was as if he intended to destroy him and Juice had never been on the receiving end of such an unstable man. That was saying a lot considering his current location… He didn't need Jax to tell him that something was becoming unhinged inside him because his body was talking in spades. Juice felt the wildness, the released control and the slip on sanity. He was intimately familiar with most of those emotions but while his mental instability had been turned inwards, free to rein destruction on Juice himself, Jax's was pointed at the whole wide world. It was the sort of rage which wanted to make everyone else miserable because it needed the company.

'I planned to stay out of this but now I'm getting jealous. It looks to me like your mouth is getting lonely Ortiz. I'm sure Jax won't mind if I help with that?' Juice didn't know what Jax said or gestured but he felt Teller's hand on his Addam's apple a moment later, fingertips running far too gently along the column of his throat.

Without needing to be told Juice opened his mouth and welcomed the long cock pushing all the way to the back. There was something deeply erotic about being filled on both sides simultaneously and Juice was thoroughly enjoying this. He'd had his fair share of threesomes even though he'd been in Stockton for a short time, all of them at Tully's request. At first he'd resisted, emotionally that is, trying to cling to anything which resembled the man he'd once been but he realized it was futile all too soon. He was at rock bottom. There was no lower depth to fall to. Even the memory of Chibs, from his warmth to his face, was getting away from him like so much water slipping through his fingers. Sometimes he literally felt the seams of his mind snap apart and he was losing himself into the voids between. During those times the physical, pain or pleasure, was a necessary relief. It got through the numb shell and reminded him that he was still alive.

Tully applied pressure against his throat, enough to make breathing difficult for Juice and his hips snapped forwards with more vigour. Likewise, Juice understood Jax was close to coming himself. The slam of his cock against his prostrate was becoming painful; his erection ready to spill at any second, but Juice didn't dare remove his fingers from their clutch on the desk's edge. The jabs of the two bodies on either side of him would have sent his smaller frame toppling over like a lifeless doll. He needed to come desperately, especially when his vision began to dim from the increasing lack of oxygen. He tasted his cellmate's release first, working to swallow it all as the spurts shot down his throat. When he was done, Tully withdrew and Juice thought this would be his chance to take care of his agonising need but he was dragged down the desk by Jax's powerful arms before he had a chance to do much. The back of his skull banged against the metal and pain exploded behind his eyelids but it was hardly enough to stop him moaning like Diosa's top breadwinner.

Jax hooked his legs over his shoulders and pressed his hands against Juice's fists, with enough weight to cause considerable pain. Juice wouldn't have been surprised if the desk edge left bloody groves inside his palms. Jax's unspoken warning was clear. He wanted Juice to come without anyone touching his dick and from the way he was going there was little doubt that his wish would be granted. Juice was so close he could taste it. He just needed a smidgen of stimulation more. Anything would do, even a flick of his nipples at this point. He couldn't help the pitiful noise which escaped him but Jax was having none of it. He angled his cock so each powerful shove rammed unforgivably against the sensitive bundle of nerves and at this point tears were flowing freely down Juice's cheeks. By the time Jax came, ribbons coating Juice's insides with liquid heat, his body crumbled under the accumulated pleasure with or without the extra help. Juice came violently enough for his body to go limp for a full five minutes while his nerve endings continued twitching until the intensity of the orgasm subsided.

'Was that good enough for your spank bank?' Jax was breathing heavily as he ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. Tully was already presentable again and his hungry eyes raked over Juice's zoned out, sated body. Jax had a feeling that Juice still had dick to take that day. He couldn't imagine how the guy will stand the next day, forget about walking…

'Oh yeah. Consider your debs paid in full. Mind putting those back where they belong?' Jax snorted before pushing the anal beads inside Juice's abused hole one at a time. Soft groans followed each intrusion but Juice only registered what had happened when the toy was all back in. The spheres prevented the cum from flowing out and Juice didn't know what to make of this new experience.

'Happy now? Think I can have the room to myself so I can finish doing what I came here to do?' Tully shrugged but he and Jax shook on it. If anything, sharing Juice had certainly solidified some sort of bond between the two of them. 'I still want to know.' Juice caught the serious glance Tully threw at him before Jax nodded to some previously agreed upon deal and he was gone. Juice retrieved his clothes. Moving around when his body was barely spry enough to stand straight and having to accommodate the sex toy was a challenge but he managed. It was slow but eventually he took his seat opposite Jax, sitting as far on the edge as possible. Miraculously, the phone was still intact.

While Jax waited for him some switch got flipped inside the man. Whatever wild abandon Juice had felt via his body earlier was once more trapped in a cage of rigid control. Juice hoped the instincts telling him to run after Tully was pulling his leg because he still grasped at the possibility of re-earning his reaper cut. Jax hadn't been especially brutal to him during their fuck so maybe that was a good sign? The hard look in Jax's eyes told him otherwise. Now that the lust was sated the other plethora of supressed emotions were fighting to rise to the surface and the ones Juice recognised turned his skin into gooseflesh. Anger, hate, regret, hurt were just the beginning of the rich cocktail.

'Tully tell you about Lin?'

'Yeah.' Jax confirmed after a split second's pause. There was considerable less joy on his face than Juice expected. That didn't bode well for him…

'It wasn't Jury. It was Barosky. All about money.' Juice had been waiting to share the news with Jax all day and he tried to gage the other man's reaction. The joy was still nowhere to be seen.

'And you believed him?'

'Yeah. If anything, Lin would want to hurt the club. He got no reason to protect Jury.' Jax nodded, his eyes far too heavy for someone who had the solution to a pretty large problem. Juice was beginning to feel the icy daggers of panic crowd around his heart. Jax wouldn't just forget about him now, he couldn't! 'I did everything you asked.' Juice waited for something to put him at ease. A hint of redemption, a crumb of forgiveness but when Jax finally spoke the words he uttered sunk those daggers into Juice's heart with deadly accuracy. This had been his last bridge, a flimsy rope one at that, and with one sentence Jax set fire to it. Juice could practically smell the smoke.

'I found out Gemma was helping you hide. The Chinese guy she IDed, he was in Vegas the night that Tara was murdered. Why would you go to my mom to hide from the club? Did she owe you a favour?' Juice could see Jax was barely holding it together. He'd done a phenomenal job of hiding this naked rage and insecurity with Tully there. Juice knew he was done for. Every lie had its day but he'd depended on the hope that this particular one would have a longer life. He was surprised Gemma's deception had been discovered so quickly. Considering how devious the woman could be that was a genuine surprise.

'We just kind of, um, found each other.' Juice knew he had to come clean and he knew the truth will set him free all the way into the afterlife but this was it. Rock bottom. Juice could feel Mayhem standing behind him and it was a familiar comfort. This time there would be nothing to keep them apart. The reaper's bony fingers were already around his throat. Jax only had to give the word and they would squeeze…

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	8. Chapter 8

**Warning: M/M, Chibs/Juice, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels!, Angst, Blood and Injury, Time Skip, Past Rape/Non-Con**

**Set during S7E12!**

_**8**_

Juice spotted Tully's cafeteria table and headed in its direction. He had to round Jacky Chan's table first though and he didn't miss the pointed looks the large men threw at him. He pretended not to notice, his easy step betraying nothing. Fuck, his lower back hurt and so did his face and pretty much everything else. The Chinese hadn't gone easy on him. After they'd taken turns, using his ass to 'vent their frustration' they'd slapped him around a few times for good measure. An angry red shiner was testament to that. The tender meat made it difficult for Juice to move his eye without wincing. It wouldn't matter soon anyway… Juice saw enough to last him a lifetime.

When he was standing beside the table, Tully finally took notice of him. The other four Brotherhood members or sympathizers paused their eating to look at the new arrival. Juice didn't spare them a glance, his eyes focused on Tully's cautious ones. There was a wealth of calculating intelligence behind the mean, pale irises. The man was always ready to smooth his way out of a situation or manipulate someone else into doing it for him. That level of manipulation was dangerous, especially in an outlaw.

'I need to talk to you. Alone.' Tully regarded him for a split second before he signalled his men to leave. They didn't question the orders, just followed like well-trained underlings should. Tully gestured to the now vacant seat opposite him in a somewhat facetious manner and Juice approached. He was glad Tully decided to entertain his request. He didn't have to. There was nothing of interest Juice had to offer and they both knew it. Maybe he expected him to beg for his life. If that was the case then he would be bitterly disappointed because Juice already made peace with the Reaper but he still wanted to give back to the Sons one last time before the curtains closed.

'What happened here?' Tully gestured at his busted face and Juice scoffed.

'Asian tune-up. Weren't really happy about Lin.'

'Must have not been too upset. You're breathing.' The velvety undertone to Tully's voice sent shivers up Juice's spine and none of them were pleasant. He could imagine how the soft-spoken words would make a woman's blood boil but, speaking from experience, he pitied them if they fell for the honeyed trap.

'That's coz they need me. To kill you.' Juice let that sink in but Tully didn't seem surprised. If anything it looked like Juice reaffirmed some inner query he had.

'Makes sense. You do realize you lost the element of surprise?' Tully smiled at him but there was something dark and dangerous swimming under the surface.

'I know Jax tasked you with killing me. And if the Chinese do it, it could impact your relationship with the MC.' The words came out with smooth finality. It was out there now. The prey was sitting across from the predator and there would be no running involved. Tully's smile faded and he watched Juice closely. It even looked to the Puerto Rican like there was a smidgen of respect there but he was probably just seeing what he wanted to see. Just as well, he'd long forgotten what it was like to deserve anyone's respect.

Juice feigned wiping the corner of his mouth with a tissue and carefully used it to retrieve the scalpel he had hidden around his ankle. He sensed more than saw Tully tense, probably expecting a scuffle, but Juice continued to move slowly. He placed the instrument which would soon end his life on the table and slid it towards the other man. Tully took it and glanced at it under the table. When he caught Juice's resigned eyes again there was definitely something more there. Maybe some regret? It was completely fucked up to imagine but Juice actually didn't hate his cellmate. He could have had a lot worse and at least Tully took some preliminary care of him. He certainly had no reason to share his stash with Juice, read to him or even provide him with lubricant. Yeah, that's what passed off as kindness in Stockton.

'Just let me finish my pie.' Tully's glance flickered to the dessert and then back to Juice's face, letting him know that he agreed. The weird thing was that Juice didn't even like cherry pie but he wanted his last memory to be of something sweet.

Tully didn't touch his food, only watched Juice eat. It was slightly unnerving but not bothersome and Juice was thankful the man didn't try to chat with him. He didn't want the last words he head to be some lascivious comment regarding his sexual prowess. As the sugary flavour coated his tongue Juice couldn't help remembering the last time he'd had cherry pie. He'd been a different man then, free of the worries which took up permanent residence inside his mind nowadays. He'd just gotten his cut and Chibs took him out to a diner to meet a PO but after the business was done, instead of heading back to the shop, he'd treated Juice to a slice of pie. Before Juice could let him know that he didn't like cherries the order was made and he'd eaten every last crumb because it was a gift from Chibs. What a cruel twist of fate having cherry pie for his last meal was and the sweetness turned acidic. Juice placed the plastic utensil back on the plate and nodded to Tully. He was ready.

The man signalled his men again and they got up from the table. When had they returned? Juice hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings at all. He guessed Tully already explained what they had to do because that small gesture of his head was enough communication for them to go pick a fight with the Chinese. Predictably, a riot ensues and chaos reigned supreme. Men weren't difficult creatures to incite and after being put together in small quarters for extended periods of time, starting a fistfight was laughably easy. Juice let the cacophony wash over him but it didn't touch him. Everything seemed eerily silent where he was standing. While the others rushed here and there he stood to his feet slowly and carefully as if afraid of attracting unwanted attention. Tully was behind him a moment later and Juice relaxed as the arm wound around his chest. His muscles were eager to spring into defensive action but he had no intention of fighting.

'You went out good, sweetheart.' Juice didn't think the praise would elate him so much but it made everything better. He wished it was Chibs' stubble he felt on his skin or his breath or the smell of his cologne. He wished it was his voice he heard last but beggars can't be choosers. Tully's fist tightened, holding him steady and Juice made sure to leave his neck unguarded. He knew Tully would be decent enough to end it quickly. He'd seen people get shanked in the stomach and it took them a long time to die. He didn't want to go through the excruciating pain. He'd endured enough already.

The scalpel dug into his flesh two, three times and the choked sounds Juice made died in his throat. He brought his hands up to stop the bleeding, a reflexive gesture, but there was way too much coming out. Tully's support was gone and he collapsed to the floor, his vision blurred. A wave of peace blanked him and he was so desperate for it. Without realizing it, a small smile curved the corners of his lips. He remembered someone telling him once that in the final seconds of life he'd see his loved ones. Well, Juice had precious few of those. He saw the MC gang, all gathered together and laughing at crude jokes. He saw Tig, Bobby, Happy and Jax. He saw Chibs, opening his arms to him…. And then there was peace.

*** Two Weeks Later***

Juice snapped awake and stared into a bulb that was way too bright for his photosensitive eyes. He noticed the smell first, sterile and reeking of anaesthetic. Immediately he thought of a hospital and his next thought was one of utter confusion. Why would they need hospitals in the afterlife? That seemed a little redundant, unless souls could get hurt too. Juice assumed death would release him from any further suffering and if that turned out to be a fib then he would be very unhappy. His next thought was that this place felt very anticlimactic. He hadn't expected fluffy clouds and harps since heaven was way out of his reach but he'd expected something a little more awing. This place looked plain sad…

'And he lives. Welcome back sweetheart.' Juice blinked in surprise and tried to move his head but he couldn't feel his neck. He must have managed some mobility since his sight landed on Ron Tully, a cocky grin on his face and a trey with cups full of pills in his hands. He was wearing the Stockton prison uniform. Okay, now this was becoming ridiculous!

'Huh?' Juice couldn't move his tongue properly to form coherent words. It felt like a dead weight and all he managed was the pathetic, soft sound.

'Relax Ortiz, I'm your guardian angel.' The look of pure panic on Juice's face must have been pretty hilarious because Tully chuckled heartily. 'Joking. You're not dead, let's get that straightened out. You're in the prison infirmary though you were out for over a week in an actual hospital. You're a stubborn bastard. You living really hit my reputation.'

Juice couldn't believe what he was hearing and immediately assumed it was some cruel joke or a trick of his mind. Maybe he was still bleeding to death on the cafeteria floor and this was still his last moment playing out, the seconds stretched into minutes since time was relative. He began shaking his head but the movement was almost non-existent. He tried to raise his hand to his throat but it was cuffed to the metal rail of the bed.

'I know, I know. This must all be so confusing for you but I was tasked with explaining the situation by your MC leader so here I am, making the infirmary rounds. That's what I get for missing your corroded artery I guess. Could've been worse so no complaints.' Tully placed the tray on a nearby counter and sat on the edge of Juice's bed. He resisted the impulse to flinch away. If what Tully was saying turned out to be true and he'd survived the first killing attempt then he was here to finish the job. Juice was still fine with death but having to ready his mind all over again for the end was some fresh hell indeed. He felt a pang of rage at Tully for fucking up so royally.

'So here's the short version. Jax died. Chibs is now in charge and he called off the hit on you. Don't ask me why because I don't know and I don't care. You're back under SAMCRO protection and that means you're under my protection. Looks like your ass is still mine darling.' Juice let out a sound far too close to a whine for his liking. He had a myriad of questions to ask. Jax died? How? Why? SAMCRO protection? What?! He desperately wanted a drink to calm the swarm of bees which buzzed like crazy inside his skull.

'Don't panic, your ass is off the market, at least until you piss off someone else. Don't try to talk. You're on about every pain killer I know of. That's pretty much the gist of it. I'll let you rest.' Tully didn't look especially pleased but Juice didn't think he held a grudge against him. He wanted to ask about Chibs so badly but he suddenly felt very exhausted. His eyes were barely staying open as Tully retrieved the medicine tray.

'Hey, for what it's worth, sorry about stabbing you.' Juice would have scoffed if he could. Tully's apology sounded about as sincere as the gift of the Trojan horse.

Juice shut his eyes, feeling much more at ease once he heard the click of the door and the departing steps. So much was out of place. He hadn't counted on surviving! He's been stabbed in the fucking neck! He silently cursed the modern medical marvels but an instant later he took it back. Maybe it wasn't all bad. He'd been ready to die because Jax had made it abundantly clear he didn't have a place among the Sons anymore. But now Jax was apparently dead and he was protected. Was it wise to get his hopes up? He'd been down this road before and every time he'd been beaten down. Juice was desperate for answers to questions he couldn't even begin to ask yet. His mind would have continued to turn in circles had blessed sleep not released him. His dreams were uneasy but strangely enough he didn't hear the harmful voices inside his head. They'd probably come back later but Juice was grateful for the respite.

***Five Months Later***

Juice could see the light at the end of the tunnel, literally. Actually, it wasn't so much a tunnel as a grimy room in desperate need of a touch up. He already had all his possessions, the documents were all signed and he was officially a free man. He'd have to watch his behaviour for some time since he was technically speaking on parole though for an outlaw that was more of a suggestion than a court order. He yearned to run at top speed out of the place but he paced himself, for appearances' sake. He wasn't going to let on how much his little holiday to Stockton affected him. The last months hadn't been that bad, in all honesty.

After waking up from his two week coma he'd been treated far better, starting from the freedoms he suddenly had to the way other inmates left him alone. Sometimes they tried to stir trouble but Tully had been true to his word and he'd kept most harmful experiences at arm's length. Juice still got beat up occasionally or had to such a cock or two, it was still prison, but he could stand up for himself again without fear of being shanked because nobody would give a shit. Now that SAMCRO took him back in their fold his life was sacred and unless someone wanted to mess with the MC then they knew not to step over the line. It was liberating.

Juice had been weary of reverting back to his old carefree self, still unable to let go of the fear of being abandoned again, but he didn't just take whatever came his way meekly anymore. If Chibs was going to take him back he had to at least pretend to be tough. SAMCRO had no use for a weakling. Considering his past transgressions, Juice had to prove himself five times as hard to earn the trust of the club. He'd had no visits for the whole five months which had been a disappointment. Juice wanted to know what happened on the outside but the only news he received was through way of mouth, usually from Tully.

That's how he discovered what really happened to Jax but he didn't believe for a moment the biker's death had been an accident or a suicide. He'd seen Jax ride his bike hundreds of times and Juice couldn't name another person who had better control of the machine. When Jax got hit by an oncoming truck Juice had a strong suspicion he'd done so on purpose. That suspicion became certainty when he found out about the loose ends Jax tied before his death and the Mayhem vote. It was a crying shame too. Juice doubted he would have ever been able to earn the man's forgiveness after his many betrayals and his role in Tara's murder but it was still a hard blow to take anyway.

Juice also found out Unser was dead. Gemma was dead too, though that hadn't been a surprise. Tully was fairly up to speed on his intel since a man of his stature knew knowledge was power. Sometimes he wasn't too eager to give that inter over for free but Juice had his ways. Tully was a sadist and he liked dominating the powerless and Juice could act the role perfectly. Even with his new backing, Tully was still his main shield against the other inmates so he was pretty powerless to resist. Juice wasn't exactly proud of his actions but he'd left shame behind a good while back. It was just something which had to be done. He resented the Arian Brotherhood member for taking the joy out of sex but that was being unfair. Juice had begun losing that joy long before he'd shared a cell with Ron Tully. It would take someone with considerable patience to reignite that fire.

As if to piss him off, his brain conjured memories of Chibs. Juice felt equal parts terror and eager anticipation at seeing the Scotsman again. He deduced the man didn't hate him as much as Jax or he could have just let him die in Stockton but Juice wasn't vein enough to expect love either. How could Chibs still love him after all they'd been through? He hadn't even visited Juice once in prison. He probably kept him alive out of necessity, for some other suicidal mission like Jax had when Alvarez handed him over. The eagerness to get out of the building fizzled away. Now he didn't want to leave the solid grey walls. As much as he desired to put his cut back on he doubted he'd be able to hack it if he had to face Chibs' ire every day. His stomach did an uneasy flip and a bead of sweat rolled down the side of his face. This wasn't a new anxiety for him but he'd always pushed it out of his mind to deal with later. Well now there was no later…. He'd have to work through his nerves before he went to the club safe house. That bought him one night's worth of sleepless worry. Lovely.

One thing every prisoner finds out is the way air smells different once they're out. It's not like they don't have time in the yard or anything like that but there's something about inhaling the same smoggy air but through free lungs which makes it different. It made no sense but it was lighter. It wasn't Juice's first experience with the strange phenomenon but it had never struck him so powerfully before. Fuck, even the colours looked brighter. He had to shake his head at that while smirking half-heartedly. At this rate he'd start skipping about while composing poetry.

It was early in the evening and the sun was starting to set. The hues were spectacular, even for a guy with as much artistic flare as Juice which was to say none. Purple, pink, magenta, blue and a bunch of other pigments he couldn't name streaked the darkening clouds. He couldn't quite put it into words but Juice felt like a changed man when he saw it. It took him a second to understand what that strange nearly forgotten feeling was. Hope. He had hope again and the realization nearly broke him down. Someone who hadn't lost everything couldn't possibly understand the depth of this tiny fluttering emotion, so sharp it almost caused him physical pain.

Juice shook his head, collecting himself before he started to cry like a baby on the correction facility's doorstep. Now that would give the guards something to laugh at…. He hadn't heard anything from the MC guys so he didn't know if he would be welcomed at the workshop once he showed up. Come to think of it, he was probably homeless now. He should still have some frozen assets in his account, enough to buy him a few nights at a cheap motel, but he would have to start looking for a job soon. Assuming Chibs didn't want him working at the repair store anymore... That was depressing. He only had to picture a SAMCRO member walking into a fast food joint and asking him for a burger. Way, way too depressing!

Juice was out the chin linked fence surrounding the facility. His first step as a free man again. Felt nice but now where to? Juice glanced around and his heart dropped to his balls. Apparently he'd been too busy ooing and aaing at the sunset to notice the MC biker parked down the road. Of all the people in all the cities why did it have to be him? It wasn't like Juice expected to avoid Chibs forever but he wasn't ready to face the man right this fucking second. Trepidation rose into his throat until it felt like someone actually strangling him. Chibs was leaning against a van, not his motorcycle, and Juice attempted to gage out his facial expression. There was no smile and his arms were folded. He was smoking a cigarette which pointed to him being irritated. Juice couldn't see his eyes on account of his shades. The imaginary strangulation tightened just a little.

Juice stood there, rooted to the spot for what felt like an eternity. Finally Chibs peeled himself away from the car. He strolled purposefully towards the petrified lad and had Juice been a gambling man he would have went all in on getting a beating. Everything about Chibs looked threatening. When Juice had been faced with an enraged Jax he'd always resembled a viper about to strike. Poisonous, dangerous but waiting for the right moment to deal the most amount of damage possible. Up to this point that had been the most terrifying experience of his life but now he was facing a wolf and Juice could honestly say he was more afraid of wolves than vipers. Chibs took out his cigarette and flicked it on the road. He removed his sunglasses and Juice's legs nearly gave under him. There was so much fire in the man's eyes but at the same time he was painfully aware of how much he'd missed seeing that colour. The duality of his thoughts were not helping with his increasing panic. Fortunately he'd mastered the art of pretending not to care….

Chibs stood in front of him, rising to his full height and reached out. Juice couldn't help it. He flinched but didn't step back. He braced himself for a blow. His brain didn't work properly and he couldn't think of anything to say. Instead of punching him, Chibs reached to grab the scruff of his neck and gave him a good shake. Juice stared with wide eyes, still ready for the worst, but Chibs pressed their foreheads together. All the terror drained out of him and Juice felt that undeniable urge to cry again. God damn it, he hadn't shed a tear since his last talk with Jax and now he was fighting off the waterworks twice in the span of ten minutes. Chibs held him there for a full two minutes and Juice got high on the scent of him. His eyes closed briefly, savouring the intimate moment. It was a dream come true, literally.

'It's good to see you again laddie.' That voice was doing bad things to Juice. His faded memory didn't even begin to compare to the real deal. In all honesty, it had been too long since he'd had to deal with a bunch of positive emotions. He didn't quite know how to react. He missed his easy-going, naïve self which would have just laughed the greeting off and made some stupid joke. Now that just seemed inadequate.

'Yeah?' Chibs let him go, to Juice's open disappointment.

'Aye. You look thinner than a stick. Is the food in there really that bad?' Juice laughed but the sound stuttered.

'It's shit but you knew that.' Chibs rolled his eyes and popped another cigarette between his lips. He offered one to Juice who refused. Chibs raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything. Juice's mouth was already dangerously dry. He didn't think smoking would help with his hydration problem.

'Let's get going then. The sight of this place makes me sick.' Without waiting for Juice, Chibs headed to the car. Juice ran after him, desperately searching for the courage to ask the one question which had made every waking hour a torment for the past five months. They were a good half an hour's ride away from Stockton before the needed courage rose to the occasion. Chibs had been quiet, as if aware of Juice's internal struggle and giving him the time to sort his shit out.

'What happens now? To me, I mean?' Juice stared at the open road ahead, hoping Chibs understood the real question. Where did he stand as a SAMCRO member? Was he even allowed to lay eyes on a cut again or was the reaper out of his grasp forever? Chibs was silent but unphased, easily reading in between the lines.

'What do you think? You'll get a night's sleep then get back to work tomorrow. The software has to be updated and Tig is useless. He fucked up the surveillance cameras for sure and I'm scared to find out what else he destroyed. You'll have to go through a year of prospecting but if you prove you're trustworthy again your cut'll be waiting. You've done it once, you can do it again but you'll get bossed around mercilessly by the guys. They all have bones to pick with you. Relax laddie. We voted and Mayhem's off the table.' Juice kept swallowing around the lump choking him but it refused to go away. This was all too good to be true. There had to be a catch. Even Chibs, who was the closest to him in the gang, wouldn't stretch out an olive branch to him with no strings attached.

'Why?...'

'As far as I'm concerned the old Juice died in prison five months ago. Jesus Christ lad, you were stabbed in the neck and you still survived. That's strike three by my account and if Mayhem still doesn't want you maybe there's a reason. You tried to off yourself and survived. Jax didn't kill you. Tully didn't kill you. You've got Old Nick's luck Jucy.' Nobody called him Juicy in prison. Tully did on a few occasions but he'd only done it to tease him. Chibs put actual affection behind the nickname. That did it. He was crying but at least he did so silently.

'Look, I'm not going to pretend your past actions didn't hurt the club. You hurt all of us but I understand why you did what you did. It was right fucking stupid and cowardly but I get it. Like I said, that dumb fuck Juice died at Tully's hand. I'm only saying this once so listen closely laddie. One strike and you're out. I'm the president now and I'm not Jax. I don't use people. If you rat again then there'll be a vote and I can tell you now, nobody will vote nay.' Juice nodded, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. He'd felt like a new man earlier that day and everything Chibs said made that feeling stronger. For some reason he might never fully understand Chibs was giving him yet another chance at redemption and he would not screw up again. The silence returned, each man busy with their own thoughts and it took Juice the rest of the ride to realize he didn't know where they were going. He had to stop by an ATM and get some cash out if he was going to spend the night in a motel.

'Can you drop me off near an ATM? I need to find a place to stay the night.' Chibs shook his head as if incredulous at Juice's ignorance.

'You're spending the night at my place. You'll probably spend a few nights there until you get your own place.' Juice did a double take at that.

'Seriously?'

'What are families for?' So Juice got his freedom, his family back and a home? This was shaping up to be the best day of his life, his new life. 'If you're hungry we can stop get something. I only have whiskey in my fridge.'

Juice could eat but he didn't want to go anywhere except to Chibs' apartment. He needed to confirm the older man was not just pulling his leg with an unnecessarily elaborate prank. Juice had been ready to ask if he could stay at the club, if he couldn't find a cheap enough room and board, but this was defying all his wildest expectations. The simple thought of waking up in Chibs' bed again made his mind go blank. Juice was still a hot-blooded man… And sleeping with Chibs had always been different from fucking anyone else. There was a deeper connection there, at least on his end, which made everything a thousand times better. He had no way of knowing if Chibs intended to take it so far tonight, being the first time they'd laid eyes on one another for months, but Juice would be more than content with his body warmth.

'Nah, I'm not hungry. Are you really doing this? For real?' Chibs glanced at him.

'Why? You don't wanna?'

'NO!' Alright, that sounded way too desperate… 'I mean, it's fine. I was just making sure I heard you right.' Juice could feel the old him wake up bit by bit. He was actually having a fucking, carefree, casual conversation with Chibs again! Who would have thought that possible?

'Getting stabbed doesn't impact your hearing laddie. You heard me just fine.' Chibs pulled into the parking lot. Juice hoped out and waited for Chibs to take the lead. No matter how much reaffirmation he got, he still couldn't quite shake off the unease. Spending all that time on the run while chasing for his lost past had left scars on him, physically and mentally. It was impossible for him to just switch off the cowardly impulse of finding a dark corner and hiding cold turkey. His rehabilitation would take time and he wasn't sure Chibs fully understood that. The Scotsman was patient and had a soft side but Juice was a basketcase. He was convinced that as soon as Chibs realized the extent of the damage he would wash his hand off of him. He'd done it once. What would stop him from doing it again?

A slap across his cheek made Juice's recoil. He hadn't noticed Chibs coming up to him. The sting shook him up better than a bucket of icy water and he pressed a hand across the red print. Wide eyes stared at Chibs but met no regret for the hit. There was compassion but there was a lot more fury.

'Whatever was going through your head just now, stop it. I won't forgive you if you turn tail and run again. You're stronger than that Juicy. Don't make me regret giving you another chance.' The words were stern and Juice relished every single syllable. He needed to hear this. He needed the solid reinforcement to help him fight off the coward just lurking out of sight.

'I won't.' Chibs nodded and patted Juice on the shoulder.

'Good. Come on, let's get inside. I'm freezing my innards off here.' Juice smirked and followed Chibs up the iron stairs, trying not to look too much like a puppy wagging its tail. He failed miserably….

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning: Mature Sexual Content!, M/M, Chibs/Juice, Fluff & Smut, Lots of Kissing, HAPPY ENDING! XD**

**Well, you're out of the woods now and if you read this far I welcome you into the fold my hellish sibling! XD**

**Set roughly 1 Week after previous chapter! **

_**8**_

Juice really didn't want to get out of the shower. It was warm and the soap smelled fruity and he didn't have to worry about bending to pick it up. Yeah, it was small things alright… He couldn't stop smiling and his face was beginning to hurt. Chibs was definitely going to scold him for using all the hot water but then again, he'd been far more forgiving of Juice's mistakes than anyone could have hoped for. The man was practically stepping on eggshells around him though he was stern when need be and he didn't cut Juice any slack, especially at work. If he fucked up he was mercilessly punished just like any Prospect which was fine by Juice. He didn't want to be seen as a victim or a rat. He wanted more than anything else for things to get back to normal.

Chibs was a great leader and he was making all the right decisions regarding the smooth running of the SOA. He respected Jax's legacy of moving the club towards a legitimate business and he showed indisputable strength when the other gangs demanded explanations for the shift in power. He had plenty of experience under his belt and he'd earned the unquestionable loyalty of the other members. Juice could tell they would die for him and not only because that was proper gang etiquette. Jax chose the right man to sit at the head of the table.

Juice's return to the MC came with a pinch of salt. They didn't come right out and say it but there was still bad blood between him and the others. Juice's life as a Prospect was certainly no walk in the park but he bent over backwards to please and it was beginning to show. Though it had only been a week he could already see a touch of warmth beginning to trickle back into his interactions with the others. Tig was the first to approach him and share a drink with him. The man was just as strange and horny as Juice remembered but he could see a wisdom there that had been missing before. Whatever happened in his absence had drastically opened Tig's eyes and he seemed far more accepting. Juice heavily suspected Venus' charming influence had something to do with it. He'd only met her once but he could honestly say she was the nicest person he'd ever spoken to. It was refreshing to talk with someone who didn't judge him based on his past mistakes and if anyone understood about being an outcast it was her. Tig was one lucky son of a bitch but he thought she could do better…

The other Prospects weren't against him either, probably because they only knew him from the stories they'd heard. Rat too. They were alright in Juice's book though he honestly thought they wouldn't cut it. They were devoted to the Sons but they seemed so wet around the ears. Had he honestly been that childish when he'd first joined? Juice didn't want to go there… Who knew, maybe they still had a chance now that gang activity wasn't as violent as before. Chibs had managed to keep the death toll to a minimum, only losing one Prospect and that had been a case of mistaken identity. There was little hope of violence being taken completely out of the equation but considering their bloody past, this was a time of blessed peace. Jax's father would be proud.

The one person who refused to taw his resentments was Happy but Juice expected the ironically named biker to be the toughest shell to crack. Happy wasn't a cuddly sort around anyone, Juice shuddered at the nightmare fuelling idea, but he was especially mean when he dealt with Juice. That was fine. As long as Happy didn't cause him direct harm then Juice stayed out of way and went about his work. He had a ridiculous amount of catching up to do. Chibs had been too kind when he said Tig fucked the systems up. They were fucking ruined! Juice had to painstakingly take most of them apart and put them together piece by God damn piece but he went about it with an infectious zeal.

The one thing he still missed from his life was access to his own bike. As a Prospect, he wasn't allowed to touch one for the time being and cars just weren't the same. He sorely missed the feeling of wind whipping at his bare arms as he sped down the highway. It was almost like flying and the thrill of the danger was addictive. All in due time… His first course of action was to get the members on his side again. He would get a smile out of Happy one way or another. On second thought, maybe that would just give him insomnia… He'd settle for a begrudging grunt of approval.

Juice couldn't quite believe how perfectly the pieces of his shattered life were falling back into place. The constant fear of abandonment had receded to a dark, distant corner of his mind and it was a rare pestilence lately. Even when the toxins began to spread he could drive them away or he could count on Chibs to slap some sense into him, sometimes literally. If this was the sort of improvement he was feeling after seven days he could only dream at how great his life would be in a year. He had everything he could have ever wished for and more. Juice was certain most of the credit for that went to Chibs. He would have been a gonner ages ago, when Jax set his eyes on him, had it not been for Chibs' attentive care. He owed his life to him and Juice would rather swallow bleach than betray him. In that regard the MC president had nothing to worry about.

To prove how thoughtful the war surgeon was, he hadn't made a single move on Juice since he'd gotten out of Jail. That had come as a surprise. At first Juice was disappointed, certain Chibs didn't want him anymore because he was used goods, but then he began to realize that wasn't it at all. There was no doubt in his mind that he'd macked on some serious trauma regarding sex, thanks to Jax and Tully and countless others. If Chibs would have pounced him that first night, something Juice fully expected to happen, he would have just become another face in the abusive crowd and that would have cheapened the bond between them. Juice was slow but eventually he realized he didn't want that to happen. He wanted to keep his feelings for Chibs apart from that sludgy mess. If it became tainted then it would forever mar what they had. At this point he couldn't deny it, it was love. He fucking loved Chibs, love loved, and if the man still managed to take him back then maybe he wasn't the only one struck by Cupid's arrow.

'Hey! Did you fall asleep in there or something? Get out before you double the water bill you fucking git!' Chibs was banging at the door and the sound startled Juice enough to make him jump. One glance at his wrinkled fingertips told him he should have been out of the shower circa fifteen minutes ago but the comfort had been too nice to ignore.

'Alright! Sorry.' Juice turned off the water and he heard a huff from the other side of the door before Chibs left. He couldn't help laughing under his breath. Most likely the water bill would come out of his pocket and Juice decided to be a little more sparing in the future. The MC didn't pay especially well… Come to think of it, there had been no more conversation of him finding a place. Juice didn't bring up the issue on purpose because he didn't want to go but he definitely expected Chibs to say something on the matter. He had enough saved up to find something, small and dingy but it would free Chibs' place up. If anything, Chibs conceded some of his habits to accommodate Juice, like putting some actual food in the fridge. Wait a second?... Did this mean they were living together? Juice felt really stupid for think on it so late but… He made a mental note to bring it up with Chibs later.

'Jesus Christ, you're going to catch a bloody cold like that! I'm not taking care of you if you start running a fever and I'm charging you extra for any missed days of work.' Juice rolled his eyes but pulled on a shirt. He wondered if he was this much of a nag with the other guys. Once a doctor, always a doctor? Juice chose to believe he was just special and lavished in the extra attention.

'Happy now? I feel like I'm living with my mom.' Chibs put down his glass of Jack Daniels and scowled at Juice. He could tell there was no threat in the look and he was proven right when a moment later Chibs sighed and poured a glass for Juice as well. This was the perfect opportunity for him to raise the issue of them living together but he needed the liquid courage first. He drank the whiskey fast and Chibs looked quizzically at him.

'There something on your mind Juicy?' Out of habit he filled Juice's glass again. Juice stared intently at the dark drink. He felt the warmth of it settle pleasantly at the bottom of his stomach.

'When do you want me to move out?' There! It was out and it couldn't be taken back. Juice helped himself to the second shot.

'Is that it? I thought I was being pretty obvious about it but I guess I got to spell it out. I don't want you to move out. It's only been a week so. Where are you going to go anyway?' Well that stunned Juice and he didn't hide it. Was Chibs seriously asking him to move in? What the fuck did that mean for them? Were they a couple or were they still just casual fuck buddies? No, Chibs was probably just being a good brother. Juice was convinced that if Tig needed a place to crash Chibs would make him the same offer. Alright, maybe not Tig. The man was incapable of tidying after himself and Chibs was the polar opposite.

'Oh my fucking God…. Does that make me your old lady?' Chibs had to hold his side, that's how vigorous his laughter was. Juice couldn't stop blushing on the other hand but he chose to blame that on the alcohol. Just to hammer that point in, he downed another shot.

'Aye, that's all it fucking takes. You're way overthinking this Juicy. I'm not a young man anymore and I'm not stupid enough to ignore that I feel something for you. I lost you once laddie. I don't want that to happen again. The door's open if you wanna fuck off. You're not a prisoner.' Juice's jaw must have unhinged from the way it dropped. He wasn't the most romantic guy in the book but he knew a confession when he heard it. He stared at Chibs and the other man met his eyes levelly. Nope, this wasn't a joke. Chibs was dead serious.

'Fuck me.' Juice didn't quite realize what he'd said until he noticed the surprise on Chibs' face. He meant it. He really, really meant it and he was ready for Chibs to claim him as his own. 'I need you to take me Chibs so I know I only belong to you. I know it's stupid and sappy and shit but I just feel like-'

Chibs could be really fast when he wanted to. Before Juice finished talking and probably ruined the moment the man was on him, lips hungrily pressing against Juice's gasping ones. It had been months since Juice was kissed. There was no kissing in prison since it would have been a sign of weakness. Juice forgot how much he'd missed it. He tasted the strong spirit on Chibs' tongue and the tobacco from his last cigarette. He let himself be carried away by Chibs' demanding tongue and yielded all control to him. It was a passionate, possessive, demanding kiss but Juice picked up on the care and gentleness too. He'd tangoed with enough men who only wanted to get their rocks off to know the difference and Chibs was giving as much as he was taking. When they parted for breath Juice was breathing hard, already visibly eager for more.

'Are you sure you're ready for this Juicy? Once we get at it I don't know if I'll be able to stop.' This was exactly why Juice loved Chibs. Ever the care giver… Even when he could feel the man's erection begging to press against his hip.

'Good. I'm counting on it.' That was all the encouragement Chibs needed.

Juice got rid of the shirt he'd just put on a short while back and worked to get to Chibs' skin as well. He couldn't see what he was doing on account of his mouth locked with Chibs'. He refused to let him go until he had no choice in the matter. Chibs drew in a quick breath before returning to leave kisses up and down the column of Juice's neck, his fingers pushing the boxers down Juice's thighs. Thank God he hadn't instead on Juice wearing pants. Juice stepped out of the discarded garment and hoped into Chibs' arms, letting the bigger man support his weight. He'd put on some muscle since he got out of jail but he was still a tad on the thin side. It served him well now.

Chibs moved them both towards the bed and laid Juice carefully down on his back. He followed the descent, their tongues once more at war with each other and moved his palms over every accessible plain of flesh. He wanted to remember every dip and rise of Juice's musculature. He wanted to trace every vein with his fingers and kiss every scar. He wanted to lick the outline of every tattoo and mark every inch of skin with his teeth. He had no idea how he'd managed to hold back from sleeping with the lad all this time but he was glad he did. He'd recognised the signs of sexual abuse right away, not that he needed much confirmation after what he'd seen Jax do with Juice.

In his opinion Juice was still rushing things but he also understood what the younger man was trying to tell him now. He needed to feel whole and accepted on a physical level. He needed to feel the overpowering pleasure of sex in its purest form, done as an expression of love and not as a display of dominance. It was all part of the healing process and if Juice felt like he was ready then it was Chibs' duty to respect that. In all honesty he didn't know how much longer he could hold back anyway. Having Juice cuddle against him every night but holding back from touching him was torture. It was fucking torture and he was tired of waking up with morning wood, rush into the bathroom and jerk off before Juice woke up. It was frankly embarrassing! Yet he would keep it up if Juice needed more time.

'Let me blow you.' Chibs frowned but Juice shook his head before he could say something. 'I want to Chibs. I want to taste your cock and feel you grow inside my mouth. I want to feel you push against the back of my throat and gag me with your cum. Please?' Chibs didn't know where Juice learned to talk like that but his dick certainly approved. Maybe he should put Juice on the payroll at Diosa so he could teach the women there a few things… If anyone touched him though Chibs would tear their fucking hand off.

'Since you asked nicely…'

They changed position so Chibs was on his back and Juice left a trail of steamy kisses down his chest. Chibs sucked in a rush of air when the wet tongue moved around his nipples, sucking and teeth scraped the sensitive nubbins just enough to send an electric jolt to his groin. Juice had always been able to get him hard in record time but now there was some considerable technique behind the lad's touches and Chibs was hornier than a teenager. He wanted to rush Juice a little but he also didn't want to compromise his pride by letting it show how affected he was by Juice's love bites. Plus, didn't want to force Juice into anything he wasn't ready to take. Through sheer force of will he kept his hands by his sides though his fingers were all but tearing the sheets in their clasp.

Juice kissed his abs, feeling how they quivered under his ministrations, while he curled his fingers around the straining erection. Chibs nearly came right then and there. He'd practically been a monk while Juice was imprisoned. Fuck, he'd only had sex four times and that was only because he was about to explode with pent up frustration. He remembered the prostitutes, all workers at Diosa, and he recalled how good they'd been at their craft but Chibs didn't think he would have managed to get hard for them if it wasn't for the need to blow his load. Juice had him wrapped around his little finger and he didn't even know it. He was so whipped… Tig could never find out about this or he would tease Chibs mercilessly!

He watched with bated breath as Juice began licking up the length of his shaft, kissing the crown of his cock and giving it a suck before licking back down. Why did the lad have to be in a teasing mood today of all days?! Chibs could tell Juice knew exactly what he was doing to him. There was an impish glint in his dark eyes and Chibs was riled up. If Juice's intention was to get him all hot and bothered then he was doing a phenomenal job. Juice squeezed the end of the shaft and the firm balls, drawing a very satisfying growl out of Chibs. He was tempted to tease a while longer but he didn't want to push his luck. It just felt nice to have some say in what happened during sex. It wasn't like he'd had many chances to tease when he'd been fucked in prison and he missed it. It was empowering.

'Fuckin' hell Juicy!'

Juice tried and failed to hold back a smirk at the impatient curse. He decided to give Chibs what he wanted and he swallowed the full length without much warning, getting another, louder curse as a reward. Juice pulled out all the stops, moving his tongue and hollowing his cheeks. He hummed to send tingling vibrations up the member and worked his throat around the head of the cock. He loved the way it pulsed against the roof of his mouth almost like it had a mind of its own and it wanted Juice to know how much it favoured the lavished attention. Juice looked up through thick eyelashes when Chibs pushed his head away gently. He ran the tip of his tongue across the prominent veins, letting the cock fall out of his mouth with the most sinfully erotic wet pop.

'What is it? Afraid you'll come too soon? No worries, I won't judge.' Juice had a mischievous grin on his lips which put Chibs completely at his mercy. He vowed to never let Juice know the sort of power he held over him because he was in deep shit if the lad started abusing his charm!

'You're a cheeky bastard.' Juice shrugged but at Chibs request he climbed onto his lap, straddling the man so he could get at his lips. He gasped when he felt hands run down his back, blunt nails scraping along his spine, and fingers began circling the puckered ring of muscles. Juice pressed his forehead against Chibs, drawing in his breath as the first finger pressed in. The intrusion was careful and slow and even if it was dry it didn't hurt at all. 'You're loose down here Juicy. Did you play with yourself in the shower?'

'My ass got lonely.'

'Next time call me over. I can keep your lonely hole company until it's satisfied.' Chibs pressed a butterfly kiss on the bridge of Juice's nose and it was those loving pecks and nips which had Juice's heart stuttering. Fucking someone hard was easy but loving someone, now that was the real challenge.

'Promise?'

'Aye.' Chibs removed his fingers and reached to get something behind him. Juice recognized the drawer where the man kept the lubricant right away and his dick did a little jump of joy. He would have been perfectly happy if Chibs fucked him dry but he should have known the Scotsman was better than that.

Juice scooted a little so he was sitting more comfortably and Chibs had better access to his entrance. Juice had always preferred having sex while face to face with his partner, assuming he wanted to see the person in question, but it never felt as personal as being with Chibs. Watching the subtle darkening of the biker's irises as lust took over made Juice's breathing quicken. He wound his arms around Chibs' shoulder and rested his head against his neck as finger by finger he was stretched apart. He felt Chibs kiss the top of his head softly, one hand still running soothing lines along his back, and it was all becoming too much. The care was indescribably nice but he needed something wilder. Chibs managed to coax the sparks inside him into a fire and now it was a blazing inferno. Juice needed to feed it before it consumed him and he sensed Chibs was in a similar situation.

Juice rose onto his knees and pushed Chibs flat on his back. He left a hard kiss on the Scotsman's mouth before he lowered his hips and took the length inside him, inch by wet inch. It felt like he was finally home, his every nerve ending singing a symphony as Chibs put his hands on his hips and held him down. Juice moaned, throwing his head back as he began to gyrate and impale himself repeatedly on the hard dick. It was pure bliss and he couldn't get enough. Chibs met his thrusts with powerful pushes of his own hips, his eyes glued to Juice's beautiful form. He pushed himself into a sitting position with one powerful shove of his arms, nearly sending Juice tumbling to the floor but his hands shot out to catch him. Forehead to forehead, chest to chest they fucked with wild abandon. Juice couldn't tear his eyes away from Chibs', their steamy breaths mingling.

The friction provided by their close proximity wasn't enough to get Juice where he needed to be so he reached for his straining cock, setting a quick pace from the get go. His muscles tensed as he felt the pressure building inside him and Chibs drew him into a sloppy kiss, more tongue and teeth than technique. Juice cried out as pleasure ripped through him, far more intense than anything he could remember experiencing before, and Chibs pressed his mouth against his bobbing Adam's apple. Chibs continued to thrust inside him, fucking him through his orgasm even after he came himself. Chibs attacked Juice's oversensitive prostrate until the younger man was whining in slight discomfort. The pleasure was so acute it began to turn painful and Chibs slowed down, bringing them both back from their high while continuing to place nips and bites along Juice's throat and shoulders. He left an especially noticeable red mark along his collarbone as punishment for teasing him earlier. He was going to enjoy watching Juice bend over backwards tomorrow to explain how that had happened.

'I love you too. I have for a long time but it never felt like the right moment to say.' Chibs was stretched on his back, his breathing once more steady, and Juice rested against his chest. The perspiration was starting to cool and he couldn't hold back the sporadic shiver.

'I knew. You have a tendency to wear your heart on your sleeve Juicy. Bad habit. You leave yourself open to getting hurt that way.' Juice chuckled and moved closer around Chibs, taking extreme pleasure in the solidary comfort of the arm winding around his lower back. Chibs grasped at the sheets and pulled them over their bodies. It'd be ironic if he ended up catching a cold after warning Juice about it not one hour ago.

'I really don't think it can get much worse than what already happened.' Juice fell silent, hating the way his brain returned to that dark place of its own accord. He didn't want the demons to start fucking with his thoughts again, certainly not when he was being held by the man he loved.

'Do I have to slap you again laddie? Don't dwell on the past. I'll say it as many times as it takes. That Juice is dead. You're the new Juice and I'm not letting you get away again.' Juice nuzzled against Chibs' heart, choosing to choke down the tears threatening to ruin the occasion. Chibs' thumb traced slow circles against his hip and it was doing wonders for his nerves. He felt safe and protected. Chibs said he'd never let him go but Juice couldn't imagine a scenario where he would want to go away. This was where he belonged, right in this room, in this bed with this man.

'So?... Was that it? Did you run out of stamina old man?' Juice grinned wickedly at Chibs who scoffed, taking it for a joke at first.

'You can't be serious. You insatiable fucker.' Juice bit his lower lip in that way he knew Chibs loved. He didn't miss the way the Scotsman's eyes dropped to stare at the way his teeth worried the pink flesh.

'You have a whole week to make up for. But I get if you're not up for it. I can just take care of myself…' Chibs' expression darkened, more out of reawakened desire than anger. He knew exactly what Juice was doing and he was smart enough not to rise to the bait.

'Get ready to explain to Tig why you can't walk straight tomorrow Juicy. You should have gone to sleep when you had the chance.' Juice laughed as Chibs flipped them over and pinned him to the mattress, their fingers lacing together.

'Sleeping's for the dead. I want to feel alive.' Mayhem could go fuck off for a while longer.

**Thank you for reading and I wish you a wonderful day! XD **


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